Monday, April 2, 2012

I Always Knew There was Something Wrong with People who Hate Cats

On Bethenny Ever After, Bethenny said, "Humor trumps professionalism."

I totally agree.

I have been known to play jokes at work. It is just too much fun. For me.

You would never guess I'm such a menace.

But I am. There is a glimmer in the eye, you see?



Years ago, I decided to play a joke on a previous supervisor on MY birthday. I had heard whispers that people were planning to prank me for my birthday. So, I thought, I'll strike first! Bwa, ha, ha!

Anyone who knows me should know that this is a compliment if I will spend time to play a joke on you. I thought my old boss knew that.

He was quite the family guy with pictures all over his office of his gorgeous little ones - twins! - and his wife.

He hated cats.

On his birthday, I waited around until he was gone to break into his office.

I had printed some really, really great pictures of cats off the Internet with a color printer. Pictures like these:


























I am not a total menace. I CAREFULLY removed his family pictures - every last one - out of the frames and CAREFULLY placed them in a ziploc bag and CAREFULLY placed the bag in my desk.

Then, I put the cat pictures in all of his frames around his office.

I came into work the next morning, giddy, excited for the absurd hilarity to cause loud laughing and guffaws from everyone, including my boss.

The front secretary was near tears. "Kristy, he's looking for you. He is so upset. I didn't even want him to know that I knew about it!"

"What?! Are you kidding me?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No! He's pissed!"

I was incredulous, and I felt bad that I had involved our poor, dear secretary in the heinous act.

I went to my office, still not believing anything had gone wrong. Who wouldn't think that filling a cat-hater's picture frames with ridiculous pictures of cats wasn't funny?!

He was there to talk to me. He shut the door.

He explained how precious his family pictures were to him. "Of course I know that! Look!" I exclaimed as I got out the CAREFULLY saved pictures and explained just how careful I had been. It didn't help.

He said he felt that someone was intending to be a menace to him. Someone was "threatening him." Giving him the what-for, if you will.

To that, I exclaimed, "No, no, no! Don't you think it's funny that I put CATS in your picture frames? You hate cats! Ha, ha..." I trailed off, as he was not softening and did not laugh along.

Wow, the dude was TOTALLY serious.

In spite of myself, I went on, "Don't you realize what today is?"

He looked at me blankly.

"It's my birthday!" I said.

He looked at me blankly.

"I thought you guys were planning to prank me on my birthday, and I thought I would do this before you had a chance to do anything to me! That's all!" I said.

He seemed to soften his demeanor at that a little. I apologized profusely. He managed to say, "It's ok." I CAREFULLY replaced the pictures.

But I kept the pictures of the cats. I'd take them out every once in a while and have a good fucking laugh.

....................

This week's RemembeRED memoir prompt at Write on Edge was to recall a prank that did not have the results you intended.



....................

To my bloggy friends who noticed my absence as of late, I was on Spring Break. But, I'm back. And doing the best I can.

42 comments:

Wanderlust said...

What a douche. We totally need to work in the same office. Blogging.

Theresa said...

I fucking love you. Thanks for the laugh. I may totally steal that one from your for my brother in law, except I will be using clown pictures.
He doesnt like me anyway.

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

I was expecting the whole time for him to say he was kidding. I can't believe he reacted like that!

Kristy @PampersandPinot said...

Kristin - Yay, you blogging princess!

Theresa - I fucking love you too! :) And, this same person was also afraid of clowns. Don't worry, he was pranked with that too. I never learn a lesson.

Liz - I know!

Kristy @PampersandPinot said...

AND, by the way, he really was and still is a great man. He was really stressed at the time, er I think. He has been nice to me since.

Eva Gallant said...

Wow! That must have been a little scary! Welcome back!

Lady Mama said...

That is brilliant. At least I thought so anyway. I love playing practical jokes but I've discovered you have to be careful who you play them on. I once played a relatively small joke on a colleague and unfortunately caught her on an off morning. She was so upset she didn't talk to me for the entire morning!

idiosyncraticeye said...

It's not people who hate cats that you have to worry about, it's people who have no sense of humour. Mind you personally I do get kinda freaked when people mess around with _my_ stuff! ;)

Natalie said...

The guy had no sense of humor! I think it was hilarious!

My Inner Chick said...

--Oh, I would have thought that was HILAREOUS.

Obviously, the dude needs to let his hair down a bit.

Xx Great Story.

Betsy said...

He thought putting cat pictures in his office was threatening?? What happened to him as a child??

Lindy Phippen Smith said...

I thought the prank was hilarious! Had
My office been adorned with cats I would have screamed with laughter.

Head Ant said...

Best prank ever!

What is going on with the cat on the bottom?

Kasey said...

Personally I found it extremely funny! He needs to lighten up!

Susie said...

Wow! Talk about an overreaction to something that was obviously a joke. Maybe he is paranoid for a reason?

Mom Taxi Julie said...

That's hilarious!! The fact that he didn't find it funny is kind of sad, no sense of humor lol

Suniverse said...

Menaced?

By kitties?

WTF?

People are fucking bizarre.

PepGiraffe said...

I don't think it's the kitties. If I came into my office and saw that someone had come in while I was gone and gone through all of my things and removed stuff, I think I would be freaked out.

Jessica said...

If someone had done that to me I would have thought it was hilarious. He clearly was lacking the funny bone.

Cam | Bibs & Baubles said...

hilarity! i can't believe you did that. HA! He didn't think it was funny? Even a little?

TMW Hickman said...

There is definitely something wrong with a person who doesn't like cats, but this guy must have made you feel like you were working for an alien. I think something else may have been going on there. I thought that was a prank of pure genius!

Haddock said...

I cannot comment on this post as I am one of "them"

Gina said...

Awwww! Come on! I thought that was a great prank. No humor in some people. Cant believe it but thatn goodness he softened some at the end!

TV's Take said...

Love it! What a bummer he didn't think it was funny but soooo glad you continue to get the last laugh.

Jackie said...

OMG.... that was hilarious!! How could he think that someone was being a menace!

It is kinda funny though.... especially that you kept the pictures!

Jester Queen said...

What a JERK. That's hilarious. Did he seriously think anybody would destroy the pictures? Sheeeeesh. I dislike the guy. I mean, I'd have wanted my pictures back, sure, but....ugh.

Sandra said...

I kept waiting to read that his behaviour was the joke, but nope. The guy's a total douche.

angela said...

I thought for sure there was going to be a punchline there, from him. Really? He felt menaced? Yikes. Menaced would have been letting loose fourteen hungry kittens and smearing cat food on his shoes :)

angela said...

I thought for sure there was going to be a punchline there, from him. Really? He felt menaced? Yikes. Menaced would have been letting loose fourteen hungry kittens and smearing cat food on his shoes :)

Babes Mami said...

I thought he would laugh hysterically! I can't believe he got THAT upset, he felt threatened? By cats?!

Date Girl said...

What an absolute pansy ass!! Seriously?! I think that's an awesome prank. I love the pictures you chose too. They're hilarious!!

Middle State said...

I've been known to pull a few major pranks in my day but never had one backfire that badly. The worst was when I had my friend at work call a relative (who totally had it coming with all her pranks on me) posing as a city worker, advising that all the water must be turned off in the house due to a major sewer problem: human waste was seeping into the drinking water. Little did I know her husband would come home early that day. He heard the message and totally flipped out. He knocked on neighbor's doors, telling everyone to shut off the water because the drinking water was poisoned. He laughed it off when he found out it was a joke.

Tat @ Mum in search said...

He probably imagined all his family turning into cats.. what a nightmare! ;)

Actually Mummy said...

No! I felt sure he was going to double bluff you! Oh dear. Mind you those are some seriously ugly cats!!

jazzygal said...

Oh no...I was so sure the punch line would be was that he was pranking you!! Boring fart!!

xx Jazzy

Carolina said...

THAT was an awesome prank! I wish I were as good at coming up with pranks. I'm sarcastic, but not creative..sigh!

Jill of All Trades said...

Oh my goodness that was so funny, the cats, but the boss,,,EEK...

Kimmie @ Sugar and Dots said...

GREAT photos, girl! I'm new here and I LOVE the look and feel of your site so far! Off to check out some more posts. Have a wonderful week! xo

Julia@inspirationforweightloss.com said...

He wasn't playing a joke on you? I felt sure that he was but I guess not lol.

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