Thursday, December 9, 2010

First Love, True Love


This week, Red Writing Hood provided this prompt:

Write a short first-person story about your first love, or write a short fiction piece about a character's first love.

Mysterious Ways

I noticed him right away. He was new blood in this soul-less place. He looked kind. That was why he was so…noticeable.

I approached him with all the bravado and confidence that I had honed over the past few years.

It looked as though I wasn’t even relying on liquid confidence, as I held a diet Pepsi can in my hand. But, little did anyone know it was filled with spiced rum and hardly even burned anymore every time I took a sip.

“Hi,” I said, an actress, using my body and my eyes to say a little more than just “Hi.”

“Hi,” he said with a smile.

Little did he know I was damaged goods. Not worth much more than a, “Hi,” but I no longer had much to lose.

“How’r’ya tonight?” I asked, coyly.

“Good, and you?” he asked, politely.

The conversation quickly, surprisingly, became interesting. We talked excitedly and lost track of time. We spoke of our current situations and future dreams, and he never passed judgment, only showed curiosity, only gave me the attention I craved. I didn’t want the night to end.

……………………

His eyes, his eyes, always looking, looking for a connection. I was not used to a connection. There was only warmth there. Instinctively I knew I could trust him.

We looked at a map of his home state, his home town. We listened to music. We talked a little more about what was deeper beneath the surface. The sun was rising.

I gave in. I finally held his gaze and was just beginning to learn that I deserved it. Could I really trust this? Would there be another time? Was he really…kind?

The next day, and the next – a phone call, some letters. He cared. I started falling in love.

18 comments:

Amy said...

Great story :) poignant in a way...

I missed your RWH post last week.

Ratz said...

:-) Oh TRDC should have made us write more... what happened then!! I hate when good stories end. This one is beautiful...

Amy said...

LOVE this!

Carrie said...

simple yet effective! Will you write more?

Jen said...

So totally awesome. :)

Crystal Escobar said...

I just LOVE love stories, and this is a great one. You're really a great writer!

The Drama Mama said...

This is fabulous!! Please write more.

Cristina said...

ah... I second what everyone is saying.. MORE! please!

(Florida) Girl said...

Your opening line was my favorite. I loved that his kindness made him stand out.

Stopping by from the red dress club.

Cheryl said...

Ooh..the kindness. My first boyfriend was (and is) very, very kind. It is SO underrated.

TV's Take said...

You are indeed a writer! Good stuff here. Hope you are working on a book :-) Do you have a writing partner or are you going solo?

Shannon said...

Not to be totally unoriginal, but please write more! This was so fun to read...

Nichole said...

There's so much more that I want to know! Please, write more. :)

Leigh @ Colorado Springs Giveaways said...

Found you through My719Moms. I love your story...I think everyone should take some time to write down their first love story. Thank you for sharing.

Mommyfriend Lori said...

Agh! This simply must be continued. You sucked me in!

Nancy C said...

A big fat WORD on what everybody is saying about "more." And yes, kindness matters. When my husband looked me in the eye, called back when he said he would, and generally treated me like a person worthy of respect, I let down my guard.

What a shame that so many of us (myself included) build up walls when others stomp all over us. How wonderful to find the right person to tear down those walls.

kathryn said...

You gave me chills with this piece. So tenderly sweet. I loved it.

hot girl said...

nice post.