Wednesday, November 16, 2011

A Night with No Limits

This week Write on Edge challenges us to write a short non-fiction or fiction piece about a road trip or a journey.



Mine is fiction and may or may not be from a book I'm writing. I'm shy about that. I just chose a quick snippet of it. It's the first snippet that's ever been shared at all here.

...............

The first stop could not be too far. The celebrating had to begin. An event that would cut the line between Before and After. Right off Interstate 17, traveling the lonely high desert of Arizona, there was one place that begged for a visit. What the universe knows, but people only wonder about, is that every single driver who has passed by the Rock Springs CafĂ© (with a sign boasting World’s Best Pies!) has wondered what it would be like to actually stop and take it in.

Moonlight competed with the flickering neon, a perfect combination on a night that had no limits. They were still buzzing with drug, ready for more drink. Kate pulled in to the gravel parking lot and felt the slowness of the car approaching the old building. Oh my god, they’re going to think we’re weird, Kate thought as she looked in the window where people sat at stools like they had sat there forever.

“This is going to be fun,” Marisa said, giving Kate a wink.

“Let’s do it!” Kate said, shutting off the car, feeling better already in the influence of Marisa’s confidence.

...............

Ok, I'm stopping there. I feel shy, like I said. Let me know what you think!

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

I want to read more!....now!

blueviolet said...

See, now I'm mad that you stopped! I want to know what happened when they went in!

Eva Gallant said...

That was a good teaser! You have sparked my curiousity!

My Mercurial Nature said...

LOL! Like those above me, my curiosity is sparked and I want to know what happens next!

Kara said...

I wish Blogger allowed emoticons - mine would be applauding :)

Venus said...

Kristy, this is absolutely lovely!! I especially love the line "They were still buzzing with drug, ready for more drink." It's so evocative. So much better than just something like "They were buzzed." When you're comfortable sharing, I'd love to read more. :-)

Jessica said...

I would read more definitely.

Cam | Bibs and Baubles said...

Why on earth are you shy?!!! I want more dagnabit! I feel cheated. Seriously, it's good. I wanna know what's up with this weird cafe. Is somebody about to get their head chopped off? Are the people in there zombies? All who stop in there are eaten and forced to live on there forever with the rest of the zombie nation? See- you stopped and my imagination got the better of me. I blame you! I applaud you though - I know it's hard to put yourself out there. When you're ready to share, we're ready to read. :) This comment is far too long...

championm2000 said...

"An event that would cut the line between Before and After."

Great line.

Cori said...

love it! keep writing!!!

Carrie said...

Definitely an intriguing beginning. You've dribbled the breadcrumbs, now feed us hungry birdies :)

Mom of 12 said...

Wow! You are an awesome writer...You should do this for a living. Too bad there doesn't appear to be any money in it. Unless you're JK Rowling.
Sandy

idiosyncraticeye said...

Ooh, that definitely wasn't enough! An absolutely brilliant piece. :)

Mommy's Paradise said...

And now, what are they going to do? I hope for more of you snippets to read, I wanna know. :-)

Valerie said...

You have nothing to be shy about! This is really good!!

Shell said...

Love this line: An event that would cut the line between Before and After.

Stacey said...

You have nothing to be shy about! That was very well done and you definitely left me curious and wanting to know more about your characters!

Jackie said...

Very good!! Now... post the rest so we can read it! I don't think that you have anything to be shy about at all!

MamaMash said...

Ooh, I'm curious!

Glen said...

any story with pie in it is fine by me! Very well written. potential - certainly.

Keep going :-)

Lance said...

I'm already predicting trouble, the good kind and the bad kind, with Kate depending on the bravado and confidenc of Marissa.

More please, much more...

I need to come here more...i promise i will

Kir said...

"what the universe knows, but people only wonder about" I immediately thought of Area 51..isn't that what it's called?

this was very good and very intriguing. :)

My Inner Chick said...

I want more. I want more. :))

Mrs. Tuna said...

How great, I have the writing skills of chimp.

Clipped Wings said...

I want to read more...this story could go in so many different directions. I'm curious which one you chose.

Cheryl said...

I understand what you mean about feeling shy. It's your baby, it's your heart. If this small bit is an indication of the rest of your piece, I'd say you're on to something!

bettyl said...

Great words!

Mrsbear said...

I don't think you have anything to feel shy about, seems like a great intro. I'd loved to see more. How good was the pie? What was it like when they finally got in? Great hook!

angela said...

I absolutely want to read more. What happens when they go in there? For some reason I'm sensing there could be trouble ahead :) I understand that it's difficult to put certain things out there, but I'm glad you shared this! There's a definite hook here.

Natalie said...

Very intriguing...we want more!

Julie said...

I loved the detail of the people in the Cafe (World's Best Pies!) perched on stools like they had sat there forever.

In just a few words, I had the whole place already pictured - sight, sound, smell, taste.

Really. That's the way to set a scene for sure.

Cameron said...

There are a lot of strong moments in here, and a teaser for something wonderful. Can wait to hear more!

Tina Lane said...

Oh, yes, the long journey of writing a book. I can relate. Please keep going.

I am closing in one 2.5 years on my first manuscript and getting ready to dive into another round of edits and tweeks.

Don't give up.

Babes Mami said...

More more!!

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