Sunday, June 13, 2010

Daddy Anxiety


I try to be respectful and loving toward my dear, good husband in my blog (please ignore the Labor Story post in which he was referred to as The Fucker). Let’s give props where props are due. My husband is a fabulous Husband and Father. He gets up early with Parker in the morning so I can sleep, he loves taking Parker places, he is confident about taking care of him if I have to leave out of town, he has always been a completely contributing partner in parenthood, he helps me clean the house, he does the dishes because I cook, he washes my car, cuts the grass, and does all “boy” identified tasks around here too. You see how I go on and on? He is a good, dear husband.

So, bless his heart, but there are a few things that I think are just hilarious and surprising. Hunny, I apologize before-hand here, but come on, you’ve been giving me some pretty good material lately and I’ve gotta use it.

My husband tends to have anxiety around things being “wrong” with Parker. This has caused some harrowing events and entertaining stories. Here is the evidence:

1. Most recently, I came home from a trip to Maine. Richard sheepishly tells me, “I took Parker to the doctor this week because I thought something was ‘wrong’ with his foot.” I asked, “What was ‘wrong?’” He explained that perhaps Parker had stepped on something, but he was favoring his foot and walking funny. My husband got concerned and took him in. Medical diagnosis: bruise.

2. I hardly ever go to a happy hour, and this is something my husband enjoys doing a couple of times a month. So, in April, I went on a special happy hour with a work friend. Our drinks and appetizer had just arrived. My husband called my cell. As soon as I answered, I could hear Parker in the background screaming and crying. Richard frantically said, “I don’t know what is ‘wrong’ with Parker! He just started crying and freaking out, and I don’t know why! I think something is ‘WRONG!’” I was at a loss for words. What did he want me to do? I said, “Do you want me to come home?” as I looked longingly at my glass of wine in front of me, waiting. Richard said, “Well, what should I do?! Do you think I should take him somewhere?!”

Exasperated, I said, “Give him some candy and put on a movie.”

There was silence on the other end. (By the way, at this point, my friend was just staring at me with her mouth open.) Richard tersly said, “Well, if you’re not going to take this seriously, then I will let you go.” I quickly said, “I’m serious, hunny! If this behavior continues after you offer something fabulous, then you know something is wrong. Just try something! If it doesn’t change in 5 or 10 minutes, call me back!”

I received a text about 2 minutes later. It said, “He is fine. He is watching a movie.” Mommy diagnosis: 2 year-old fit for unknown reason.

3. One night, the whole family was upstairs getting ready for bed. My husband and son were in the bathroom getting toothbrushes out and some spontaneous rough-housing began. I was in the other room and did not get to see exactly what happened, so I could only rely on my husband’s description. Suddenly, there was crying and shouting. “What happened?!” I shouted. My husband came in the room, holding a crying Parker. He said, “I don’t know! I was flipping him around, and I think something might be ‘wrong’ with his arm!” I asked, “What exactly were you doing? Did you have him by the arm?” Richard said, “No, I had him by the hips and flipped him over my shoulder and he just started crying!” I was thinking that maybe Parker got a little scared, maybe slightly hurt, and my son has a tendency to freak out big. I started taking a look at his arm, all the while Parker was crying and holding his arm and yelling, “Urt!”

Richard started in. “I think we need to take him somewhere!” I was thinking, “Let’s give him some ibuprofen, see if he can settle down a little, and then decide if he needs to go ‘somewhere.’” But, it was already late, already past bedtime, and if he was going to go “somewhere,” then we needed to get going. I said, “Ok, fine, let’s go.”

Parker fell asleep in the car on the way to the emergency room. Upon waking, when we arrived at the downtown emergency room, Parker was dazzled by the big buildings and lights. He began happily shouting, “Ook! Ook!” And he was POINTING and GESTURING wildly at all the bright lights WITH the “urt” arm. He was fine. Just for good measure, I wiggled his arm around. There was nothing “wrong.” We put Parker back in his car seat and headed home. Richard said, “Parker, a few more years were just shaved off my life.” Mommy diagnosis: A fine acting session for a “urt” arm.

I will not go on at length with the other examples, but just know that Parker’s history of phantom medical problems have taken us to a neurologist for suspected seizure, frantic conversations with Ask-a-Nurse to determine Parker had night terrors, and a keepsake X-ray picture of Parker’s baby foot (and can I please mention that there are hardly any bones in a baby foot that could be broken).

I thought I was the one with anxiety problems, so my husband’s behavior has totally surprised me. I have to guard against getting riled up along with him because that can happen. As soon as I hear, “Something is WRONG,” instead of calculating the time in an urgent care and what needs to be put in the diaper bag, my eyes instantly slit in a suspicious manner. Bless my husband’s heart. He cares so much about our bub and God forbid anything is ever WRONG with our bub!

26 comments:

karen said...

Hi Kristy....if Richard is this worried now, just wait till little Parker is a teenager--he'll have lots to worry about then, I know, I've been there-twice :),but with all the worrying they (and you) make it through just fine! Karen

Nikki said...

Thats funny...but like you said...I would rather him be over worried than not at all! My husband sometimes runs around like a chicken with it's head cut off not knowing what the hell to do!!!

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Well, its nice to know you guys take childcare seriously! Its better than something being REALLY wrong with him and you not doing anything about it.

julie said...

My husband's the same way. I think they just don't spend as much time with them as we do so they don't know the different cries, tantrums, hurts, etc. Glad to hear he's still in one piece!

litanyofbritt said...

HAHAHA! That's funny. And also the CUTEST FOOT BONES EVER!

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

Oh my gosh, my husband is so anxious, too! Only when my baby was about 3 months, he was putting her onesie on and she moved backward really fast and hit her head. I was 90% sure she was fine and told my near-tears husband that. Only when he left, I broke down and called our nurseline to make sure. Of course, the nurse called back JUST as hubby got in the house, and he caught me. Of course the nurse said what I knew to be true, which was as long as she didn't black out, etc., she was good to go. But now he NEVER trusts me when I say the baby is okay.

Lulu said...

I shouldn`t laugh but this did make me smile. I guess at least he cares enough to be worried.

My husband likes to run around the room with Noah when he cries- he thinks it calms him down. Yeah, whatever....

Lucy said...

What an adorable post. My lovely husband was like that with Olivia (now aged 6) and slightly less so with Charlie (aged 4). God forbid Lexie (aged 3) has anything "wrong" though with her though, as we are now at the point of "she'll be right" about pretty much everythng...........

Tammy said...

Your post made me laugh, as well as your picture of you in the header...lol! Just stopping by to say hi and thank you for coming by my blog the other day. I love meeting new friends and new blogs! I am your newest follower! :)

MommyLovesStilettos said...

Sounds just like my brother. He is a NUT and always assumes the worst with his son (he's 9 months old). LOL Men!

chele said...

"Should we take him somewhere?"

That's my favorite line.

Krista said...

These are really cute stories! It's good that you get some giggles... it would be such a shame if Richard were the 'other' kind of dad who never showed an interest! They are great little actors aren't they? (the kid... not the hubby. lol)

Sandy Motes said...

I learned to be a casual mom to counter my husband's habit of freaking out at every little thing. When Stacy was 3 she came running up to me screaming and crying. I said, "Stacy", but before I could finish my sentence, she stopped crying and said, "I know, I'll live."

Emma said...

Oh bless him....it's so cute that he worries so much! I'm absolutely loving your Blog Header, it's brilliant! Thanks for stopping by my blog on SITS Pot Luck Friday!

Anonymous said...

Sandy,

Scott had probably bitten her!

Karen

Cheryl said...

This is so sweet! Neurotic, but sweet! ;)

Maxabella said...

LOL, I'm loving this post. Can I just say that I think there is a reason that "my son has a tendency to freak out big"... his dad!

Wanderlust said...

You know, I think I would prefer this over the other extreme, no? Rather sweet. And your son had adorable foot bones!

Kristi {at} Live and Love...Out Loud said...

Kristy your husband is so sweet. That's just too cute. Sure, he might be a worry wart but take a look at the new post I just put up and you'll be thankful for your hubby's worrisome ways. lol
Thanks for stopping by and commiserating with me on my Mommy Meltdown. Have a great day.

Kristi, Live and Love...Out Loud
@TweetingMama

Ronnica said...

I must say, if there's ever a time to call him an F-er, that'd be it, since that's what got you into the situation, right?

I think there's nothing as adorable as a man caring for a child!

The girl with the flour in her hair said...

Ha! At least you have a cute picture! :)

My husband is an EMT, so I feel like I have a "doctor" around. I always call him when I panic!

citymouse said...

Your hubby is too cute. I know he probably seems like a worry-wart, but guys that are softies deep down always get points in my book.

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Melissa said...

Love the X-ray pic! I have a few "souvenirs" of my own, including one X-ray just to find out my daughter was constipated. :) Then there was the time I rushed her to the emergency room because I thought she was having an allergic reaction to a bee sting...

Oh it's a good thing my husband isn't like me (and your husband) or we would be rushing the kids in everyday!

Melissa said...

Btw, found your blog from SITS. Now following! Linked this hilarious post on my Facebook page.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Nouns-and-Violets/134582969890405?ref=ts

cristina said...

You have me laughing out loud. Your husband is too cute.
I'm a new follower and love your posts
and thank you for visiting my bog :)