Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Rude Behavior is Innevitable (and an Award!)

Of course, while in Mexico and on our epic journey, there was rude behavior had by all. To me, rude and inappropriate behavior is nothing but FUN, FUN, FUN! I might define it a little differently than everyone else, so here are some examples by everyone that was there (in order from youngest to oldest).

Parker – Besides the expected “NO” shrieking and general two-year old wailing, Parker let loose a mysterious gray cloud out of his butt in the resort pool, jumped up and clicked the stewardess button so many times that nobody came to help (ever), and in a moment of glee threw sand in my face and open mouth.

In true Parker style, strangers called Parker by his name. People at the resort pool knew his name. When he threw a ball back to people from the side of the pool, they shouted, “Thanks, Parker!” I did not know these people. At all. These people are only used to hearing a constant chorus of, “Parker! Parker, here! Parker, no! Parker!” When providing our boarding passes at the end of our journey, the man said, “Ahh, there’s Parker again, you made it.” I looked and realized this man was outside at curbside check-in and had the opportunity to observe Parker deftly sliding out of his stroller while I was busy trying to rip the m******-f***ing car seat out of the car.

Mercedes – Ahh, the tween girl. My precious and beautiful niece with perfected eye-rolling and sporadically surly comments. She has amazing patience with Parker (except when she is trying to sleep in), and I love watching them play together. It brings pure joy to my heart. Honestly, there is nothing truly rude to report here, other than jabs she gave to her dad here and there, but believe me, my brother (the asshole) deserves a lot of it.

Kristy – I know you will be all too surprised to find out that I acted inappropriately at times. It was fabulous. There was one night in which I had indulged in many an alcoholic drink, as will happen on Mexican beach resorts vacations with swim-up aqua bars. Falling occurred. I fell into the pool, on the grassy lawn, on the sand. Whenever this happened, I would look around at the laughing people nearby and shout, “WHATEVER!”

I was having an enjoyable time talking with people at the aqua bar. I was also having a very enjoyable time using the F word. This was brought to my attention to pipe down on the F word. Well, my memory and impulse control was greatly affected at this time, and it kept happening. Whenever I noticed my faux-pas, I would shout, “F***! SORRY!” I would just generally shout to anyone in the area that had the unfortunate placement in the universe to be near me and my rude (but so f***ing fun) behavior.

*I would like to note at this time that Parker napped during aqua bar happy hour.

Scott – My brother is the King of rude behavior, and he will tell you that is true. One of my favorites from my brother went like this, “God, Kristy, I was up in the middle of the night with this horrible heart burn! I was in the bathroom, and I threw up and ORANGE, ACID FIRE came straight out of my mouth! BAAAHHH!” (Like me, my brother uses a lot of growling, expression, and gesturing when telling stories.)

My brother and I kept calling all the young, taut 20-something tan and skinny ones “f***ers” (not to their face, just mumbling it to each other of course). A group of them would walk by here and there, and Scott and I would take turns mumbling to each other, “Go back to your Laguna Beach Hills show, fuckers.”

My brother and I were walking back up to our towels from the ocean, and I thought my brother was going to fall over and die having to hike uphill in sand to get there. We got to the top, and he leaned over catching his breath, stood up and said, “Give me one of my cigarettes.”

Scott kept handing over $20 bills every once in a while to the aqua bar staff. He would say, “Just let me know when I’m in the red!” Every time he ordered, he would order six margaritas at a time. Six. (There were usually only three people in our party drinking.)

Richard – My husband truly must be the sanest one of us, bless his heart. He’s usually either scared and embarrassed or completely entertained by all of us. He has moments though too, of course. None of us in this world are immune. I particularly liked the concoctions he would make. He mixed tequila with margarita mix with Orange Crush soda with Dos Equis and God knows what else (the color was amazing). He found the largest, biggest BOWL of a cup to use and would pass around these wonderfully enticing drinks for all to share. The only thing that really kept his occasional Fucker status in place was when he left on our anniversary morning to go on an overnight biking trip with his BFF man friend (a.k.a, his other wife) in Flagstaff, Arizona (the site of our wedding, no less).

Mom – My mom is this sweet, giving, warm-hearted person. All those around her love her calm and serene energy. She is full of laughter and kindness. But, let me tell you, she can have some fun too, and when she lets loose, we ALL have a good laugh. My absolute favorite one on this trip was when we were driving through the streets of our downtown Mexican city, and Mom kept shouting through the open windows, “FEED YOUR DOGS! HA, ha, ha, ha!” I shouted, “Scott! Put the child locks on the windows and drive faster! Geez!” It was also enjoyable to see her enamored and flirty with our young, stud of a waiter, Eduardo. It was fun to hear her say his name with a deep voice, and she would say, “Ed-UAR-do, our hero.”

Well, my people, I shall end this post with a big THANK YOU to Ma, What’s For Dinner, because she gave me an award! How nice was that to come home from vacay and have an award waiting! Here it is:

Believe me, after describing the rude behavior above, the irony of this award is not lost on me.

Now, to award to some other well-deserving bloggers who brighten my day! (Rules: Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to their site, give the award to 12 other bloggers, and let them know you have given them an award. If you have already received this award, just do what you would like with it and know that you brighten my day!)
Diminishing Lucy
Finding My Weigh
Theta Mom
Mommy's Sippy Cup
Mummy Time
Mommy Pants
Motherhood Uncensored
Alabaster Cow
Buried with Children
Good Day, Regular People


The Empress said...

Thank you so very much! Like I always say, to be acknowledged and appreciated is never a small thing.

Thank you, sweet thing....it means a lot that you thought of me.

Cheryl said...

Hysterical! I don't even remember the last time I had a drink. It's been THAT long! Maybe I need an aqua bar in the back yard...

And - thanks so much of thinking of me for the award! I am very appreciative!

Wanderlust said...

Aw, thanks! Sounds like a truly successful vacation. My kids would die to see a beach. And yeah, I want an aqua bar. In our inflatable pool, would do.

Lucy said...


And thank you!

Mommy's Sippy Cup said...

This seriously cracked me up! I love it! And the falling in the pool, grass, is hysterical. When I've had a little too many, for some reason I decide to look at my husband or whoever is around and say 'Pish Posh' Why? Who knows! That's the drink talkin!

Thank you so much for the award!!! :) I got one the other day that I will eventually be passing on to you...whenever I get it posted! So now you'll have more work to do!

Brenda said...

WHATEVER is like my fave expression too. I usually say the word with my fingers forming the letter W on my forehead. Yeah, I am sooo mature like that.

Justine said...

found you through TMC. you're funny. i'm sure you know that. =) falling in the grass. funny. falling in the grass in mexico and then screaming at people? HI larious. wish i had been vacationing at the same time. i would probably blog about it.

Krista said...

This was extremely entertaining to read! Guess I must be a rudie too because your family sounds like a blast to hang out with. LOL!

Babes Mami said...

sounds like you had an amazing time!

MommyLovesStilettos said...

Seriously I laughed SO HARD. This is too funny. I tend to over use the F word when I'm drunk too. LOL

Oddyoddyo13 said...

This was so hilarious! Of COURSE everybody knows Parker. :)

Glad you had fun though!

ericka @ alabaster cow said...

yay! thank you for this! :) i'll mention you in my next post!

Mommy's Sippy Cup said...

Okay, you're turn. Grab it sister :)

kathryn said...

First of all, congrats on the award, sweetie! Second, you sound like you handled every situation whilst on vaca with dignity, grace and one pinky raised in the air during all cocktail-raising. (You DID remember the pinky-raise, didn't you?) I know you did, so you are soooo golden.
Sounds like a fabulous time was had by all. I would find myself calling my mom and saying, "Allo...dis iz Ed-waaar-do...." on a very regular basis. (Or at least until it got old.)