Sunday, October 17, 2010
Everyone likes date night right? Everyone looks forward to a little grown-up time sans kids right?
Hmmm. I’m about to discuss something controversial. Every mom blogger knows that the most controversial thing you can write about is anything having to do with your husband.
Well, I am going to venture a guess that I am not alone in date-night-related-anxiety.
Usually, when date night is planned, it is in response to an over-stressed schedule and the recognition that we must remember we love our spouse and need to give them attention too.
So, the date night is put on The Calendar.
Then, my worrying begins. I cannot help it. I know it is irrational. I don’t want it to happen every time, but it does.
Will Parker be ok? Will he get upset or sad or have difficulty going down to bed or give the babysitter problems? Are we even going to have that much fun going out or should we just stay home? Will we stay up too late and be too tired tomorrow? Will it be worth it? Will I have enough energy to go out? What am I going to wear? I don’t buy “going out” clothes anymore. Do I need to wash my hair? Oh my gawd, are we going to have sex later? Have I shaved my legs in the last week? How LATE are we going to be up?
Every time, my husband is surprised by my anxiety (like he hasn’t lived with me for 13 years), and I tell him, “I’ll be fine. As soon as we’re gone, I’ll be fine,” and then I sense that he is put-off that I am not as excited as him about going out, and I worry about that.
I also know that as soon as we are gone, I am fine. Truly. And yet, I still put myself through the same useless anticipation and guilt before-hand as if I have to earn the right to go.
Is it just a natural why-fight-it type of thing that all mothers go through?
I hear some mothers get really excited to go out, look forward to it, do multiple Woo-Hoo’s! in their mind as they get ready to go, but then they get “out” and have a hard time enjoying themselves. The worry and guilt creep in.
I am just the opposite. My anxiety starts a few days before The Date Night and crescendos just at the moment we step out the door. And, as soon as we’re gone…I’m fine. I enjoy myself. It’s all worth it. Parker is good for the babysitter. He goes to bed fine. We stay up late, and we’re tired the next day, and we survive.
Why do I put myself through it? How do you handle date-night-related-anxiety?