Thursday, October 21, 2010

The First Fight is SPECIAL


Disclaimer: Although the writing that follows is a “memoir” piece, many details may have been…adapted, or created (in my favor) because, at the time, I was quite drunk.

This is a prompt from Mama Kat's Writer Workshop: Write about a fight you once had that you were very passionate about, but now you find it silly.

In the summer of 1998, I was 22 years old and almost engaged to be married. We had picked out the ring and were waiting for it to be made, so really, I pretty much was engaged.

What a romance! When my now-husband and I fell in love, we fell in love hard – with much love and energy and positivity. It was obvious when we met that there were forces beyond our control bringing us together.

We went an entire year after we met in the summer of 1997 before we had any argument. There was not one fight…

Then, one day, we were on vacation.

We were tent camping in Estes Park, Colorado, and having a grand time, enjoying the outdoors, and the little town of Estes Park. One day, we drove into town to find a nice spot for happy hour. We felt like having some drinks before returning to our campsite and campfire.

We found a cute, little Mexican restaurant on the “main strip.” We sat at the bar, ordered our margaritas, and assessed the situation around us.

There was a group at the end of the bar that had possibly been there all day. They were loud and laughing and talking with the outgoing, feisty bartender. Soon, of course, they asked where we were from, and we all began talking and laughing together. Our spirits were high, and it was like we had started to create our own little party.

These people had been travelling all over. They INSISTED that we HAD TO hike in Bryce Canyon and pretty much the entire state of Utah very soon. Our lives depended on it. We shared that we were waiting on a ring to be made before The Proposal occurred. One of the men piped up, “I have an online pastoral certificate! I can marry you right now!”

Hoots and hollers all around!

Richard and I got married right there in this little bar of a Mexican restaurant in Estes Park, Colorado, almost a full year before our “official” I do’s.

The jolly group of people started buying us drinks. There was probably a congratulatory shot.

The woman in their group kept insisting that I MUST have one of the strawberry margaritas because they were the BEST EVER. My life depended on it.

I do not like sweet drinks. I do not have a sweet tooth. I do not even eat chocolate. Hardly ever. The last thing I wanted, at that already very drunk moment, was a strawberry margarita, and I needed it about as much as I needed a hole in my head.

“Oh, no thank you, I’m fine. I bet it is good!” I would tell her every time.

It seemed the group suddenly decided they needed to leave. Our little party dwindled. The gracious bartender told me, “Here, I’ll make you one of those strawberry margaritas on the house!”

I was starting to spin. I had had too much to drink. I was hoping to leave soon after the other group left, but here this bartender just whipped up a strawberry margarita and plopped it down in front of me, expectantly.

Just looking at it made my stomach churn.

I leaned over to whisper in Richard’s ear, “I need to go.”

Richard sat back, looked at me, and with shock and horror hissed, “We can’t leave! You have to drink that drink! She made it SPECIAL for you!”

Here began our first fight ever, and it probably goes down in history as our worst one ever.

Obviously, Richard had forgotten that he was travelling with his future wife (or actual wife, depending on how liberal you are about Mexican bar weddings officiated by a drunk Internet pastor). He must have been mistaking me for his bachelor roommates who consider it “alcohol abuse” (the worst social disgrace) to leave any alcohol behind.

I sternly hissed back, “I DON’T CARE that she made it for me, that was her choice, and I don’t have to drink it. I should be able to say no thank you, and leave. I am too drunk to have anymore!”

He said, “No! That is so rude! You have to drink it!”

I sat there in disbelief. This was my future husband (or husband, depending…) telling me that I HAD TO DRINK something that I DIDN’T WANT TO? That I clearly COULD NOT drink because of the state I was in? Did he not care about my health and well-being?! Why wasn’t he on MY SIDE and letting me do WHATEVER I WANT?!

Richard paid the waitress. We left. We got outside. It was still light outside! We were raving drunk. We could not drive back to our campsite. We saw a park across the street and decided to go sit it out.

As soon as we sat down at a park bench, we started bickering still about The Drink. Our bickering escalated to all out yelling, and then you can probably guess what happened. I started crying. We were a scene. We were fighting with passion, completely convinced that our own side was right, and the other person was VERY WRONG.

In the midst of all this, about 20 feet away, a group of teens from a local church start singing Christian songs for passersby.

In a moment of clarity, we realized what a mess we were. The sun was starting to set. Park people were possibly planning an intervention for us. We started laughing. And then, the laughing didn’t stop. We were so over it. We got up and started walking.

We got back to our campsite and started a fire, and we were back to having a grand ole time, listening to music, roasting marsh mellows, talking, and laughing through the night. (That night is also marked by my eventual falling into a hole in the darkness, and we, literally, rolled on the ground laughing about it.)

This argument is like a historical story now in our relationship. We laugh about it still. At the time we were both, SO MAD and OFFENDED at the other. Truly. And, now? We see it as so silly. There are many times you can hear one of us say, as an inside joke, “But they made it SPECIAL for you!”

26 comments:

Amy said...

Oh! That is priceless! It's always good to be able to laugh about these things after they're over :D

Veronica said...

But it *was* special! Hehe. The best relationships are the ones that end in laughter.

blueviolet said...

I love that you pull that line out from time to time and use it. The things we used to say and do...

Nancy C said...

I love this. This sounds like something my husband and I would do. And yes, I am on your side completely.

I wonder if strawberry margaritas are grounds for annulment?

Also, were you really married? That is so cool if it was a legal ceremony.

Write Chick said...

Stopped by from MamaKat's, and I loved this story. I had to laugh, because I think all of the early fights with my husband were about stupid things. The funny thing is, we still joke about it too. It's good to laugh at yourself.
:-) I also read back through some of your older entries and was very entertained. Thanks!

Kimberley said...

Hi there! Dropping in from Mama Kat's, and so glad I did! Great story! Hitting the follow button as soon as I comment. Drop by my blog sometime if you get the chance, thanks!

http://davisdailydose.blogspot.com/

MultipleMum said...

What a crazy day! I love those days. They start so innocently and the next thing you are married and bickering in a park with a mob of Christians as your audience. Hysterical and, as always, told beautifully. You made it so SPECIAL for us :)

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Haha, it's nice to see some arguments that end well. :)

Babes Mami said...

I remember our first fight too but husband does not. At all.

Glen said...

ah alcohol, love it

Lori @ RRSAHM said...

Hehe. I remember our first fight. it involved a Danish backpacker. those were the days, before kids and money troubles. *Sigh* ;)

Aging Mommy said...

Great story - glad to see it ended well. So was the marriage legal or not? Did you ever find out?

Meghan said...

That is the best story ever. And I cannot believe you were "married" in a bar! That is AMAZING!

Ca88andra said...

I loved this story! And I totally agree with you on the strawberry margheritas - far too sweet for me!!!

Angelia Sims Hardy said...

I love a good Mexican bar story! So which anniversary do you celebrate? Lol. I have a feeling the falling in the hole is a whole separate post.
:-)

Eva Gallant said...

Cute story! Wonderful that you still laugh about that first fight! I hope you always stay happy. (My younges son and his wife of 10 years just separated and I'm heartbroken.) Take care of that relationship!

Mama Kat said...

I'm adding this to next week's newsletter. It's too funny...hopefully you've managed to work out the issue of what to do with extra alcoholic beverages, should something similar play out again.

Karen Peterson said...

Too funny!

Of course, I'm SURE he sees it your way now!

Melissa B. said...

Over the years, Mr. Fairway and I have had our share of fights. I have to say, though, that the most heated disagreements came when we were younger. More energy then, I guess...

LambAround said...

Ha! :)
As for the awards, I was feelin' lazy yesterday ;)
I might go back and do featured bloggers in a separate post this week. I just need to fight my laziness!

Mommyfriend Lori said...

Loving this post. I wish I remembered our first fight, I bet it was about his band. Yes, his band. What a 17 year old thing to fight about. While I'm totally on your side about not drinking The Drink, I do suscribe to the "no alcohol left behind" philosophy...for other people, not myself so I kinda see his POV. LOL!

WTH am I Doing? said...

Stopping by from Mama Kat's.

Great post! I hate when people try to push me to imbibe more than I want to. I know my limits (& what happens when I go beyond my limits...shudder...) so I know when I need to stop. I'd probably taste it to be polite, but drink it? At that point? No way. It might have had an unfortunate accident into my husband's lap, however, if he were giving me a hard time about it...hehe That would never happen tho, because I can drink my Hub under the table...hehe

Venassa said...

Haha that is too funny. It sounds like something me and my boyfriend would fight over.

Mommy Needs a Vacation said...

Hahahhaa!!!! Our worst fights are when we have been drinking!!!

Jennifer said...

That is an awesome story! Stopping by from Mama KAt's!

hotpants™ said...

It's ok to laugh at the part where Christian singers came by in the middle of your drunken fight, right?