Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Little Kid, Big Trouble


Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop prompt: Write about a time you got in BIG trouble when you were a child.


Someone had ratted us out. Someone broke under pressure and told an ADULT what we had done.

I was in big trouble. For the first time in my life. Big trouble.

This kind of stuff didn’t happen to me. It happened to my brother. How would I live through it? The shame was overwhelming.

In a huff, the P.E. teacher marched us out through the hot, grassy field to the new gym equipment that had been installed at the school. All of us, a small group of fourth graders, hung our heads as we went to fess up to our wrong-doing.

Once we got to the wooden climbing wall, we each had to identify what we had written in ink pen.

The gym teacher barked orders at us. “Before I give you a piece of sand paper, I’ve got to tell you. I don’t think this is going to work. You wrote in INK PEN. If you are not able to get the writing off, you are going to have to PAY A LOT OF MONEY to replace this. This is BRAND NEW equipment that costs a lot of money. You better hope the sand paper works!”

The worst part for me was identifying what I had written. I had the longest, the most foul, and the worst of all the graffiti to claim. At the time I wrote it, I only felt the most clever. Now, I felt the most vile.

Thankfully, the sand paper worked.

Next stop was the front office. We were each taken into the principal’s office one by one, yelled at, and told to call our parents and tell them what we wrote.

I cried the entire time I waited for my turn.

I cried in the principal’s office.

When I got on the phone with my mom, I cried so hard I could not say what I had written.

That night, at home, my brother was very, very happy. So pleased to see the goody-goody sister in trouble. This was a special occasion.

My parents were trying to decide my punishment. Grounded for a week? No TV? No phone?

My dad asked me about what I wrote. “Where did you hear that? Who told you that?!”

“Scott (my brother) told me! It was a punch line to a joke he tells!” I exclaimed. It was the truth, but I was more than happy to try and shift the focus off of me for a moment.

“Go to your room. Both of you!” My dad told both my brother and me. My brother was infuriated to be part of a punishment that was FINALLY supposed to be mine.

To this day, I will never forget the punch line of that joke. I will never forget the whole joke. It is burned in my memory forever.

“I’m a mean mother fucker from Sesame Street gonna kick your ass from street to street.”

25 comments:

Deb said...

Hahaha! It's so sweet to read this and feel very strongly what my younger self would've felt in that situation . . . and to see it as my older self, and giggle.

I'm glad you share the punchline. I read and went, "I hope she tells us what the punchline is!" Can't always count on that, after all. ;)

Shell said...

Oh, I would have cracked up to read that! I bet your teacher had to try really hard not to laugh!

Coming East said...

What a hoot! I couldn't stop laughing OUT LOUD as I read this. Sadly, I can't be your friend because you are just too bad for me.

sara said...

If it makes you feel any better I got kicked out of girl scouts for being a bad influence and was banned from seeing certain friends because I shared copies of a Too Live Crew tape. :)

Anonymous said...

OMG...I was just sharing this memory with my friends at work during lunch yesterday! Heidi and Kim loved it! Mom

Leanne said...

LOL!!! OMG Kristy. I just relived every moment with you. I could feel your little heart breaking. I bet you never did it again ... (or did you?!)

Anonymous said...

Ha Ha! Love it!

Eva from Wrestling With Retirement.

Climb2Nowhere said...

LOL! That made me laugh and then smile. I so remember feeling scared shit for getting caught and feeling like you were in big trouble. That's hysterical! I'm sure you and your brother laugh about that one now! Thanks for sharing!

JDaniel4's Mom said...

I bet yiour brother was careful what jokes he told you from then on.

SherilinR said...

oh my gosh, having to admit & confess to the acts we did is even worse than the punishment to follow! i remember having to confess to making my barbie & ken dolls bump their lumps together after a friend tattled on me. the humiliation!!

Losing Brownies said...

Oh man, I bet your brother was pissed! My brother was always getting into trouble and loved it when I got in trouble. It wasn't often but it happened.

Ca88andra said...

Too funny! I don't remember ever doing anything really bad, but I do remember my mother threatening me with "dire consequences" if I did. I never did find out what those consequences would be...

Mimzy Wimzy said...

Haha. Served your brother right that being glad to see you in trouble came around to bite him! My daughter frequently got herself in trouble when gloating about trouble she had gotten her brother in.

cutefatgirl said...

The sandpaper probably had something to do with never forgetting it.

Great storytelling. I was reliving it with you.

thesedaysofmine.com said...

Okay..... was kinda surprised at the ending of your post.... Like another commenter said: it's easy to imagine your dread at having to tell your parents.
Thanks for stopping by my blog today!

jess said...

Fan-freaking-tastic. Thanks for sharing the punchline! Poor little fourth-grade Kristy though. It must have been torture. (I'm still giggling.)

vinobaby said...

Wow--somehow I missed THAT joke back in the day...either that or I was too much of a goody-goody to hear it. Glad you survived your traumatic moment (and can make us laugh about it now).

I'm just another wine-swigging, anti-supermom, wannabe writer who found you through TRDC. Can't wait to read some more.

Cheers.
Vinobaby

Jane@flightplatformliving said...

oh that has made me laugh out loud! your poor brother i felt his glee and then his pain to be dragged into it! very very funny, took me right back to the shame of tellings off at school! lovely to stop by from the weekend linkup x

Amy @ Never-True Tales said...

Oh wow, that that is ROUGH! No wonder you've never forgotten!

Amanda said...

I can't stop grinning. One would have to be a fabulous actor or devoid of humor not to laugh. :)

Anastasia said...

oh I can't imagine a fourth grader writing that. lol.

Kim (frog ponds rock) said...

thanks for the smile hehehe

Glowless @ Where's My Glow said...

You wrote that as a fourth grader? Totally bad ass :P

Natalie said...

That is hilarious! I have never heard that punch line before LOL :) Just found your blog and love it...your newest follower!

kids iPhone game said...

Yes, of course, parents have a lot of troubles with little kids. But the elder kids are the less problems parents have.