Tuesday, July 20, 2010

How to Spice Up a Marriage


(Thank God the hubs has a sense of humor.)

I live to exasperate my husband. I live for the eye roll. I find it very entertaining.

After a certain number of years together, this must be what they mean by spicing up the marriage, right?? Who’s with me?

What better way to pass the time and the years than by pushing the exact buttons you know lurk under the surface? (I realize that many of you out there right now either think I am evil or brilliant. It is a line I carefully walk.)

Reactions out of my husband that I find fun include:

1. Disbelief
2. Blank stare
3. A short, choppy, loud, “What?!”
4. The afore-mentioned eye roll with a small smile playing on the lips
5. Slight and fleeting annoyance

Obviously, whatever keeps ME chuckling (on the inside) works.

Some examples of how I accomplish this include:

1. Pretending I am completely serious, when actually I am only totally messing with him.
Our late cat, Gweniviere, is buried in our back yard. Recently, we were sitting outside on the patio watching our little maniac run around the backyard. We have been pondering moving in the future. Deadpan, I looked at my husband and said, “You know when we move, you’re going to have to dig up Gweniviere so we can take her with us.” Reaction: Disbelief and blank stare.

2. Giving flimsy responses to questions he has for me.
My husband always loves to know “what the plan is” for the day or the next day. Although I am an organizer-type, when it comes to planning open, summer days, I rather like to fly by the seat of my pants and not feel constrained by too many “plans.” So, about EVERY SINGLE TIME my husband asks me, “What are you going to do tomorrow?” I say, “Go to Target. Get some socks. Maybe a necklace.” Reaction: short chuckle and eye roll.

3. Swearing that Us Weekly stories are THE FACTS.
When watching television news, my husband may comment on a story here and there. I’ll say, “I already know all about that.” He may say, “Oh, yeah, how?” I say, “Us Weekly!! You know! THE FACTS!” Reaction: chuckling and eye roll, but unfortunately, sometimes heckling.

4. Increasingly reminding him of his dear Grandma L. as I get older.
Recently, I had to have a wisdom tooth removed and was put under for it. When I began to wake from sedation, my husband tells me that I started rapid-fire questioning for the poor nurse. He said I wouldn’t stop until we were out of the office. I was asking, “How long did it take? Can I see my tooth? What does it look like? Was it hard to get out? How many minutes or seconds of pulling? Did you have to grunt and pull hard on it, or did it come out easy? What kind of tools did you use to get it out? Was there lots of blood? Did I make any noises? Did the dentist make noises?” and on and on. I remember my husband telling me this, shaking his head, and he quietly said, “You reminded me of Grandma L.” (She was a rambunctious, curious gal.) Reaction: Disbelief and scared amusement.

5. My driving.
My driving never fails to get reactions out of my husband, but I am always quick to remind him, “I have NEVER been in an accident, so be quiet!” He believes that this fact is a miracle and there must be angels surrounding my car every time I drive. I like to zip around in a zippy sort of way. (He must know by now that I do some things on purpose when he is with me just to get the desired reaction out of him. For example, speed up a bit right when I’m entering a parking spot and then slamming the brakes.) Reaction: Disbelief and some fear.

Ladies, you gotta keep your man on their toes lest things get…boring. Why not be the Lucy to his Ricardo and laugh along the way. Even if you’re the only one laughing, at least SOMEONE is having fun!

35 comments:

blueviolet said...

Who knew that US Weekly could play such a supporting role in marriage?!!!

Shell said...

LMAO!!! I love this. Dh gets me back, though...but, I guess it's only fair.

Linsey said...

Fun read thank you and I totally agree. I love that I keep my husband on his toes and he does the same to me. We both love to get reactions out of each other and it never gets old. My Grandma was the picture perfect Lucy and I find myself falling in her footsteps more each day, keeps life fun!!!

Crystal Escobar said...

haha, I love that. So funny about the wisdom teeth. Have you ever watched that youtube video of the girl after getting her wisdom teeth, talking about unicorns? Hilarious! Just type in Unicorns after wisdom teeth in youtube, you will die laughing :)
Anyway, thank you for visiting me for potluck friday. It's great to meet you, now a follower of yours.

Amanda said...

OH. EM. Gee. You are my husband's soul mate! HA! He loves to get a rise out of me. He will say things just to watch me go nuclear for his entertainment!! When he had his wisdom teeth out, he starting hitting on the nurse. Oh yes, in front of me. He was drugged and trying to pick up a hottie. I think I'll blog about that later....

The Drama Mama said...

This is awesome. And #5 applies to me too. I have another one that I do just because of the reactions I get from everyone in the family. "what's for dinner?" my answer? "food". Hahahaha. Reaction: Disgruntlement and sheer aggravation. Knitted eyebrows and an upside down smile. LOL

Anonymous said...

Ha, ha, ha (rolling of the eyes) the Hub

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Number one and number five were BRILLIANT. I hope to marry/date a golfer so I can race around in a golf cart and cause all sorts of mayhem...endless possibilities right there.

Tropical Mum said...

My husband is very good at pushing my buttons to get me exasperated in seconds. I need to take a lesson from you and reciprocate! Keep HIM on his toes.

Jen said...

This is totally the way my hubby and I are.

Mrs Woog said...

It is like we are married to the same man....

Megan said...

Ha ha ha! I am laughing out loud at the wisdom tooth questions!!!! That's so something I would do.

Ca88andra said...

Love this post! Thanks for making me giggle.

Ma What's 4 dinner said...

Love the cat one. That must have been hysterical.

Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma What's for Dinner
www.mawhats4dinner.com

Cheryl said...

Oh yes. I know the "blank stare" all too well!

tinahead81 said...

haha, you totally sucked me in with the title! lol i meant to comment on this yesterday, but my son had other plans! haha

love this post!!!

The Empress said...

You hit the nail on the head: to continue to enjoy and like each other. That is so important, enjoying each other's company.

Very sweet....

Mommy Spirit said...

I am so a new follower and wish I found your blog earlier. This post is hillarious. I love the concept of "pushing those buttons." It's so fun to catch our husbands in a moment of disbelief or total worry/fear (and we know just how to do it). My favorite of your scenarios is #1. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for that one...I'm sure he was WORRIED as he pictured the excavation process... Thanks for the laugh.

kathryn said...

Wonderful post, sweetie! Yes, it's fun to mess with the people who share our lives. It's fun and it breaks up the monotony.

Love the one where you announce you'll have to dig up the family pet if you move. Classic!

Mama Hen said...

That is such a funny post! By the way, I know I have said it before, but that header always makes me laugh! It is so fun! Yeah, it can be fun to try and get a reaction out of hubbies! I think the driving thing is a universal conversation between men and women! Have a great night!

Mama Hen

Mommyfriend Lori said...

LOVE IT! That is the banter that keeps it alive and kickin'! You've got the secret recipe my dear. You sound like a hoot to be married to!

Kisha said...

I am so, so glad I am not the only person who lives to give my husband a hard time. As much as he protests, or rolls his eyes, however, I think he loves it, and I'm sure yours does too! Great post.

Amy said...

HAHAHAHAHAH!!! I totally do that last one to my husband and taunt him with, "But I've NEVER been in an accident, Babe" everytime!

That wisdom tooth story is freaking hilarious!

Maxabella said...

GREAT ideas! I'm putting some to work immediately. I love keeping my hub on his toes.

colbymarshall said...

"You have to dig up Guinevere..."

ROFL! You're my kind of gal! :-)

Finding My Weigh said...

I WISH it was intentional when I make Mr Awesome chuckle and roll his eyes, but sadly, most of the time, it's because I've done something ridiculous. He's started a list of awesome things I have done in the last few years that he is allowed to hold over me in case he ever does something worth ridiculing. He says he has 4 things, I'm adamant we're only at 3. :)

Great post!

Lori @ RRSAHM said...

Hehe we must absolutely share the same sense of humor ;)

MommieDaze said...

"Scared amusement", love that one. Yeah, laughter is what hold a marriage together. Laughing is so much better than crying.

mummydiaries said...

I say any way to terrorise the hub the better. We have to put up with their stinky farts and imminent nose hair so i say they get off easy..

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