Thursday, July 29, 2010

Energy Crisis Solved (& Some Awards, Wheee!)

The irony of this post in comparison to my last post is not lost on me, people. I’m a little contradictory (i.e., schizophrenic) like that, I know. Serenity, calm, and gratitude can also exist within a mind that is like a train gone off its tracks, hurtling toward disaster.

So how ridiculous is it that I can lay awake at night FOR HOURS with my mind spinning out of control and still have the wherewithal to notice my insanity?

Here is just a glimpse of my stream of consciousness in the middle of the night:

Ok, so I’m starting back to work soon and I need new clothes, but I’m supposed to be losing weight AND watching my money, so should I only buy some new shirts or go ahead and buy shirts and pants?? And thinking of money, how many months will it take me to get rid of the balance on my Citi card because I’m going to need a new car soon and the holidays are approaching. Let’s see, if I lose about 1-2 pounds a week (preferably 3-5), how many weeks will it take me to get to my GOAL weight? When I get back to work, WHEN will I write or blog AND workout AND, holy shit, play with my son because good mothers actually PLAY with their child, but I’ll need to fit dinner in at night after work. Perhaps I should just CRACK DOWN and make myself wake up earlier in the morning so I can get the workout in then, so then, after work, I can blog and make dinner. Oh, shit! AND play with my son. Yes. Ok. After work, I will play with my child, then make dinner, then write and blog? Hmmm. That could work if I’m diligent enough…That’s NEVER going to work! Thinking of dinner, I need to remember to put butter on the store list for tomorrow. I will never remember to put it on the list, and I will forget the butter, and we will have no butter. Should I get up now and put it on the list? Will that keep me up even longer because I have walked around and ENGAGED my body in that manner? THEY say it is a good thing to write things down in the middle of the night so you can stop worrying about it. Hmmm. I do not have a pen nearby. Shit. I should really remember to put a pen by my bedside. That article I saw today talked about it not being too early to start your toddler on chores. What chores should we start Parker on? Should I make him a CHART? Is he too young yet? Wait! What TIME is it?! What the hell am I thinking?!

What the hell AM I thinking??! I know I’m not alone on this! If only we could figure a way to power our cities with the energies of a mother’s brain in the middle of the night. We might as well do SOMETHING during the middle of the night. We’re not sleeping anyway!

Ok, enough of that.

I have won awardssss! Yesssss. Not only have I won awardssss, but these are Brand Spankin’ New ones, completely created by the original mind of The Litany of Brittainy! Check them out:

The Chupacabra Award of Excellence! (I do not know what the hell a chupacabra is, nor have I Googled it, but it looks pretty damn cool, right?)

And...

The Duct Tape Award!

It doesn’t get much better than that, people. The Litany of Brittainy must have known how we love duct tape in this family.

Poor Buzz.


You see the duct tape in the background? It is an excellent way to collect empty beer cans (you know, for recycling!), say, when you are at a NASCAR race. Don't mind the man in the picture. This poor dude was in another picture recently on this blog, imitating the cat puke socks. He's getting some bad press lately, eh?

Well, just so he won't feel so bad, I'll post this picture of me for fun:

Here I am outside of that same NASCAR race event getting bucked off a mechanical bull.

I will leave you with that.

Here are the rules of this award:
-Really, you can do whatever the hell you want, but please make sure to thank the person who gave it to you.
-You can list things about yourself, or ramble on like I have, or expose yourself doing amazing things with duct tape.
-You can award it to anyone you want.

Congrats to these really, really fun and good looking bloggers for the Chupacabra and Duct Tape awards:
The Insatiable Host
Woogs World
Marketing Gurl

32 comments:

blueviolet said...

Congrats on your award! I know what you mean about getting new clothes. When you're expecting to lose more weight, it's tough to decide to do it and if so, what size? A little tight or just to fit?

karen said...

Hey Kristy, it could be worse--you could be getting a forced transfer back to you know where, I hear they're looking for a school psychologist. YIKES

Aging Mommy said...

Congratulations on the awards! Your post, oh how I totally get this. I woke up at 2am the other night and started thinking, like you just different topics and then it was 4am and I was still awake, thinking, thinking, thinking some more so I got up and went and wrote the list and did some other jobs I kept thinking about and then sat down to write a blog post but had to stop because yes it was already 5:30am and my daughter was awake :-) Such is the life of a Mom. Great post.

SweetPea said...

Oh my brain does that exact same thing every night when I go to bed. I try to shut it off but instead it just continues to go a million miles an hour. And of course I never write down the things I'm thinking so by the morning the mental list that I had is completly gone...until the next night. It's a vicious cycle!

Oddyoddyo13 said...

LOL! I always think before I fall asleep-they say you should actually get up and do something else after twenty minutes.....

Congrats on the awards!!

litanyofbritt said...

This was awesome! Also, not 5 minutes ago did I duct tape a pull up onto my son so he would stop "seeing his penis."

litanyofbritt said...

Also, chupacabras are scary as crap. Do not google. You will fear them.

Paul and Kerry said...

omg, I love it! the wheels are a spinnin' As a girl who has recently lost a crapload of weight. try to not buy that much. or go to a consignment with the stuff you buy but barely will wear. congrats on your awardsssss!

Melissa B. said...

Congrats...To infinity and beyond!

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

You need to find a good cheap tailor! Find someone in your area who advertises in the local paper or something. I have one that charges me about $5 to tailor pants. She does an amaaaaazing job and she took 5 pair of pants that each cost me over $50 and gave me a whole new wardrobe.

Young Wife said...

Congratulations on your awards! I'm not a mother, but we have similar thought processes at night. :)

hotpants™ said...

My mind does the same when I'm trying to sleep. I guess this is why I never get any sleep.

The Empress said...

Congrats on your awards AND on knowing lit of brit.

I heart her... what a dear, dear woman.

Tammy said...

I am laughing because how do we fit everything in a day??? We are amazing and can always do it...:)

Renee said...

OK, I'm going to give you some really good advice:

If you're trying to lose weight in a sane and healthy way, DO NOT aim for 3-5 pounds a week. That's INSANE and pretty near impossible. Even 1-2 is a high amount for most people, although it can be done with some SERIOUS discipline and IF your body cooperates.

As for the clothes, dresses and skirts with a tie around the waste are your best friend, preferably bought on clearance or from an outlet for cheap, cheap, cheap. A lot of people go to places like Goodwill and consignment shops, which works, but I have no patience for those places so I don't.

Good luck!

Marketing Gurl said...

YEAH!! Thanks so much!! I can't wait to do the post!! You are amazing. And yeah I hated going back to work with my clothes a little too tight...how long have you been off work? I wish I could be off - but enough about that! I am kind of a complainer! Super happy about the award!

Anonymous said...

OMG, Love it!! That was me last night!! Dana K.

Ma What's 4 dinner said...

Congrats on all your awards darlin. I'm so with you in the clothesland thing. I'm trying to lose weight too, well who isn't, so I don't want to buy new stuff yet I stand in my closet totally annoyed every day. Ugh. I should go to the gym now...


Happy Friday!

Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma, What's for Dinner
www.mawhats4dinner.com

Amy said...

Perhaps we should call each other at night, Kristy..wait, NO...TEXT...texting is better as to not wake the babes.

I deal with this ridiculous conversation playing in my brain on repeat EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

SIGH.

Kristy said...

Just to clarify so that I'm not actually scaring anyone - my most ambitous goal would be to lose 1-2 pounds per week. At the rate I'm going it's been about half a pound per week! But, of course, at night "when your mind is a train hurtling toward disaster" you lust after a 3-5 pound per week loss. I was only kidding about that. It is not what I'm striving for. If you read me regularly please read about everything I say with a grain of salt and realize that I am purposefully outrageous for reaction about many things! :) And, also, we went a couple days without butter and we were fine, and I haven't made a chore chart and don't plan to. Yet.

Kristy said...

And I haven't ridden a mechanical bull in YEARS if it makes you feel any better. :)

Argentum Vulgaris said...

What a cool blog, I love the way you write. I have just returned from beer o'clock and find your blog where I left it; staring me in the face to read. I came here from your comment on Frogspond, first time; impressed. I am going to add your blog to my Blogger's Cafe: http://avarchives.blogspot.com/ in Library 1 - Mom's Blogs.

I'm not sure that Chuggington qualifies as foreplay, even though I am not familiar with Chuggington; it just doesn't sound foreplayish. Chupacabras are another thing, as one of your readers said they are scary, they suck the blood from goats in a vampire-like manner. Duct tape does have many uses, although I have never used it, I have posted on the evils of this form of adhesive.

Having said all that, I'll be back.

AV

Lori @ RRSAHM said...

*sigh* That is exactly what goes on in my head too, every night. Self flagellation. Not good.

citymouse said...

I feel your pain, sister! I swear I only ever remember all the things I forgot when I should be sleeping or everything that I've been too busy to worry about when I"m officially awake comes bubbling to the surface. If you figure out how to stop it, let me know!

Nic said...

Hi Kristy,

I've tagged you for a meme - re post your first ever blog post. You can get the details at my blog:

www.domesticallychallengedhousewife.blogspot.com

Have a great day...Nic

Mommy Spirit said...

Congratulations on your awards. I LOVE your blog--I'm sure I've said this before. Thanks for the awesome laugh, oh, and do you work for a school system? I've been stressing about going back to work too (I teach at a nearby community college.) I'm not sure when I'm going to find the time to do anything then! (Ugh.) Have a great weekend!

shelley said...

lol! love your stream of consious thoughts...
thanks for popping by and wishing me a happy bday!
hugs,
shelley
http://im-stillstanding.com

Mesina said...

I Love it!!! Yep, that pretty much sums up the crap swimming around in my brain too. Why do we do this to ourselves?! WHY?!

We may never know... xx

Chrissy MacCEO said...

Hey there - Gosh you sound just like me. Some nights, my mind just goes and goes and goes, too. Craziness and YES I bet that us moms could just solve the energy crisis! LOL!

As for the clothes--I say just get a belt and some new tops for now. Old Navy has great "in between" weight pieces because of the price. Maybe that'll work.

Thanks for stopping by LIfe as a CEO--hope you visit again soon!

jazzygal said...

That is indeed a wonderful solution to the energy crisis! Congrats on your awards! xx Jazzy

Heather said...

Woot woot on the awards!

On the clothes, when I got divorced and went back to work 10 years ago, I had NO work clothes at all and no money to put out on them. I hit thrift stores. I got a kick butt wardrobe for hardly any money at all. Suits for $8 that looked like they'd never been worn. Skirts and shirts and dress pants for $2-3 each. Shoes that still had tags on them for $4. Even after I started making money and having extra, I still thrifted a lot to build up my wardrobe. I'd rather pay $8 on a great suit than $80. LOL

Stopping by from SITS!

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