Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Masters of Manipulation

For a few days, we had to fight a good fight while Parker adjusted to The Big Boy Bed.

We have learned that there will be no new idea or change that occurs without some back-lash – kind of like the kick-back after shooting a gun.

Parker would try to hold me down on his bed, not wanting me to leave. He would hang on to me. He would lie on the floor and cry. He would scream, “Mommy, help me!” over and over.

All of this served to rake my emotions over the coals of hell, making me wonder, “Did we do this the right way?” “Is he ready for this?” “Are we cruel people for making him sleep in his room?” “Should I trade in the husband so the maniac can sleep with me?”

As if all of this wasn’t hard enough, Parker pulled out the big guns one night. I was holding him as he whimpered, getting ready to say good night. Parker reached his hand down to my stomach and said, “Mommy, I want back in your tummy!”

Ohhh. I melted. I felt so bad for him! He must NEED his mommy!

I know that other moms out there may think, “Hell no! My tummy’s the last place I want you!” But, is it strange of me to think that I sometimes want the same thing?

I thought to myself, Yes, Parker, I could have you in my tummy again warm and safe and tucked away, and we could both go lay down and go to bed.

Those kids, man. Masters at manipulation. They know JUST what to say to push the right button.

But, I’m no sucker. I didn’t let it work. I did what any other smart mom would do. I made my husband put him to bed for a few nights.

Now, I am again back at the bedtime duty without any emotional warfare going on. We are all sleeping peacefully in our own space with no more pre-bed battle cries or regression to fetus stage.

Until the next thing comes along, this parenting hurdle can be considered jumped.


Manipulation in Progress

31 comments:

Mrs. MidAtlantic said...

Thank goodness for husbands! I don't know what I would do if I had to deal with Laura at 3am!

Glen said...

tell him if he doesn't back down you will make him a little Sister!

Mass Hole Mommy said...

Sigh....both of my boys popped out of my vagina fully knowing how to manipulate me, and more times than not, I let it happen.

Eva Gallant said...

Good for you! You have done him and yourselves a favor; for him, a step toward independence; for you, the intimacy of just you and your husband sharing a bed again.

Kara said...

Oh....I remember this stage VERY well. Breaks your heart, doesn't it? I felt like the cruelest mom in the world listening to my little guy crying alone in his room for his momma. But after I accidently pushed him out of my bed one night and he gnashed his head open on the corner of the nightstand, I knew it was time for the Big Boy Bed. Oh! The guilt!

A Mountain Momma said...

Ugh, I remember those days. It was a horror show with my first child. Much easier with second, we moved her into her older sister's bunk bed. Good grief, easiest thing in the world, thank god for older siblings!

Sarah said...

I am soooo terrified of the switch to a big boy bed for my little guy! We actually have it, sitting in the garage, ready to go, but I just can't pull the trigger. He's such a good sleeper now... if it ain't broke, right?

Then again, sleeping in a crib as a twentysomething is hardly an attractive quality, so I suppose we can't avoid it forever. Glad to hear that your heart-wrenching, gut-jabbing struggles only lasted a few days! That's actually quite inspiring!

Jessica said...

His statement would have broke my heart and I would have given up the big boy bed. I'm just not that good at sticking to my guns when my kids are sweet.

Ma What's 4 dinner said...

Oh they are soooo good aren't they??? I would have melted too!

Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma What's For Dinner
www.mawhats4dinner.com

angie said...

Fingers crossed for no more hurdles! :)

Stephanie Faris said...

LOL. They know how to work parents. But they don't even have to try, really. We're suckers for those big, sad eyes!

XLMIC said...

Awwwww. That melted me.
It is so wonderful to have a husband who is able to help in that way. Mine does, too, and I feel sooooo fortunate!

Selena said...

Can I tell you, all of a sudden, as if the blinders have been ripped off, I am realizing how MUCH she manipulates me. So to read this gave me that little push that I need to cut out the sucker role.

By the way, one of the things I do is lay down with Lila until she falls asleep. I am SOOOO tired of doing this and yet, I seriously don't know how to not do it now that it's become a routine. Lila was always such a crap sleeper (she literally NEVER ONCE slept more than a 4 hour stretch until she was almost 3) that I just did whatever I had to do to make the kid sleep. And unfortunatly, Daddy is even more of a sucker than I am.

Shell said...

Oh, how sweet is that??? I don't know if I could have turned him away then.

Then again, I really like my sleep...

Megan said...

I found your blog from kelle hampton and just wanted to say hi :)

Good job fighting the good fight! And yes, it's hard to stand strong sometimes, but you just have to remember that you're doing what's best.

(I saw in your profile you live in CO spgs...most of my extended family is there and I LOVE it there!! So jealous you're there too :) )

And, I have a fun giveaway on my blog (posted yesterday) You should come check it out!

gin said...

I am going through the same thing but with my horrible attempt at weaning my son from nursing at night.
Wait, weaning? What weaning? I can't bear the crying. My husband is getting stressed that we'll have a 16 year old nurser on our hands...

Losing Brownies said...

Gosh, that sounds rough. I think having daddy doing it for a few nights is a cleaver idea. I hope that its helped.

And my heart melted when I read he wants to be back in your tummy! Aww!

MultipleMum said...

Look at you! All brave and strong. Master manipulator he may be, but determined Mummy he found. You won this battle. Rest up and get ready for the next x

heidi @ wonder woman wannabe said...

oh, they are such craft and cunning little critters at times arent' they? (that last photo is just too much!!) good for you for staying strong - i agree, once you 'win' one battle, there's always another just over the horizon. here's to keeping that one step ahead!! :)

sara said...

How do they learn so young?! The only time Pie says mama is when she wants something. Little stinker knows how to get me!

Babes Mami said...

They make it so hard sometimes!

jess said...

Way to go, sticking to your guns! I think I might have cried and brought the little guy back into bed with me for a snuggle. Smart mom, indeed!

Kara @ Nest Candy said...

Wow! I don't have kids and this still makes my heart hurt for you. I evidently need to grow a thicker skin before I have kids or I won't be able to say no to ANYTHING. lol good job!

Annette said...

Oh, our kids are such masters of manipulation. I'm glad you put Hubby to work. I know my heart would have melted, and I'd probably cave in...

Patty said...

Ahhh yes the manipulators...unfortunately it doesn't end at toddlerhood. No sirree Bob, we are STILL dealing with it and she's in COLLEGE!!
But on the bright side....aren't kids such a blessing :)

TV's Take said...

Ugh, my munchkin is still giving me a hard time with the bed time routine now that we are in a big girl bed. I feel you. Parker's,"I want to be in your tummy" was too good though.

Arti said...

You are right, kids are masters at manipulation but arent they still fun to bend down to??
Came over from BPOTW...
Have a lovely day:)

Shelly - Tropical Mum said...

Well done you! You didn't succumb. Stay strong fellow parent! We can raise these children as strong independent well-rounded people who are caring and well-adjusted, in spite of themselves!

Glowless @ Where's My Glow said...

Stick to your guns! Then go and cry in your room at how sweet it was that he said that :P

Suniverse said...

Oh, my god. I would have died.

I was absolutely incapable of letting the girl cry herself to sleep, even if it was only for a minute. So I had to have the husband do it while I left the house.

Being Me said...

Mommy, help me?!? Ooooooh that's a heartstring tugger if ever I heard one! I'm afraid I'm a bit of a hard-ass on these sorts of things. Even though it has felt like it might actually rip me in two sometimes ;)