Thursday, January 21, 2010

Are you going to have another one?


Are we having fun yet?

At work today, I got the question that I get at least once per week. Some people ask me this question multiple times. I suppose they are testing whether or not my answer will stay the same. The question is, “Are you going to have another one?” The answer is, “No.” Now, these people do not know if there is a medical, psychological, physical, financial, or any other reason behind this answer, but it does not stop them from chuckling. They laugh, as if thinking, “Oh, she does not realize that in a year she WILL want to have another child.” Or, perhaps, “I know how that feels, and then I had TWO more!” And, my neurotic self thinks, “Wow, she is dramatic about how hard it is to have babies.” I have arrived at a place where I can say, “No,” and leave it at that. I own it. No explanation necessary. There was a time, however, when the thought of having “just one” bothered me very much. About 5 days after having my son, I thought, “I don’t think I can do this again.” This thought chilled me to the core. It scared me. What kind of mother am I if I choose to only be a mother to one? Does this say something bad about my mothering abilities or instincts? Am I going to be able to be a good mother to even just one? Of course, these were the thoughts rushing through my chemically imbalanced hormonal head as I rushed home from Target (to get colic water), unshowered, and panicked because if the baby woke while I was gone my husband would have no way to feed him since I had become a 24 hour feeding machine. And the only reason why I was the one to go to Target was because my husband practically pushed me out the door so I could “get some fresh air.” I think he was scared too. So, for now, the answer is “No,” and that feels good. I have my baby, he is my world, my love is focused on right here and now – my husband, my son – enjoying each other and planning our future as a family. We are a small family, and it is enough.

I'm looking forward to many more haircuts.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kristy, I love your blog, your idea, and your inspiration. I had to laugh because I am already receiving questions about when I will have more children...and I have not even birthed the TWO growing inside me. But my favorite question has to be, "Are your twins identical?" Now I realize this question is very typical, but I laugh when it is followed by my explaination that the babies are a BOY and GIRL! Anyway, I look so forward to reading more of your blogs!

Natalie

Anonymous said...

I remember after having Lilly I thought "Now I totally understand why people only have one child." She was my everything and I really needed nothing more. I couldn't imagine loving anyone as much as I loved her. Obviously, we decided to have more children (Charlotte and now the baby coming) and I can't imagine my life without my sweet and hilarious little Charlotte but I really understand the decision to only have one child. There are days at 8 months pregnant that I seriously think I am crazy to be having another child. My family seems perfect right now. Then I remind myself that is what I thought when we just had Lil too. I believe that life has a way of making everything work out the way it is supposed to.

Sarah

kgt100 said...

Kristy, You are putting smiles on my face and laughter in my heart. You are my darling daughter. Thank you and Richard for bringing Parker into our lives. The nearest thing to Heaven is a child. I love you...head to toe.
Mom

Kara B said...

Now, we may ORDER another one but we (and when I say we I mean I) will not HAVE another baby at least under 10 months of age. :) No explanation needed. And remember Lightning McQueen Rocks!!