Sunday, January 31, 2010

Eh, What'd you say, Sonny?

A couple of columns ago, I mentioned that there are reasons why I know I have gotten older. Since writing that, I keep thinking of more reasons. During my day, I’ll notice something that I am doing, and I think, “Ah, ha! Yet another thing I would have never done in the era-known-as-pre-Parker.” Maybe I’ll share just a few with you, and I’m sure there are others out there who can relate.

1. I keep increasing the number of baskets I have around the house. Almost any home organization problem can be solved with a basket. Too many children’s books lying around? Get another basket! Fruit on the counter? Maybe a basket would look good there! This should all be shouted in the manner of Monty Python’s Search for the Holy Grail (“You will bring us back a SHRUBBERY!”).

2. I was looking through the Victoria’s Secret catalogue for new jeans. I first checked to make sure they still sell my size because, let’s face it, the extra weight I have can no longer be blamed on “baby weight.” Then, the next thing I find myself looking for is “at-waist jeans.” No sexy low waist jeans here. Nuh, uh. Things now need to be kept in, rather than hanging out or over.

3. I do more things that my mom did when I was growing up, and it doesn’t bother me. It honestly just makes me smile. I sing my mom’s original “Tomorrow’s Friday!” song on Thursdays. I put on John Denver when I clean the house. When holidays come around, I try to find things I can tape to the windows for decoration.

4. My wardrobe basically consists of “weekend wear” and “work wear.” I am shocked to remember that I used to regularly buy clothes solely for the purpose of “going out.” Sexy, sheer, barely there “tops” and things of that nature.

5. I am more aware of health issues. When preparing for a beach vacation, no longer will I subject my fair and freckled skin to a tanning bed. I suck in my pride (and my stomach) and go get a spray tan from a stranger instead!

6. I’m really looking forward to taking Parker to Disney Live and feel that will be a very exciting night.

7. I increasingly have to pluck gray hairs from my eyebrows. I need another strategy because I'm going to have bald spots in my eyebrows soon.

8. Forgetfulness is at an all-time high. Which I hate. I used to be able to exclaim, "I have a mind like a steel trap!" No longer. I sometimes have no recollection of things even when sober.

9. The other night, I sat on a stool at a high table, and when I left the restaurant, my knees were sore for about an hour.

10. I frequently throw my back out for a few days when getting my son in and out of his car seat.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining. This getting older thing has been good, for the most part. I understand what “they” mean (actually, “they” is Oprah) by knowing yourself more as you get older and trusting yourself more. That is beginning to happen and will only get better. However, I don’t think I’ll be one to wear purple and a big hat when I’m old, old. We’ll have to think of something a little more snazzy than that for our generation, ladies. I don’t know if breaking out in rap (my personal choice would be Easy E.) would be the answer. Let me know if you have any ideas. We’ll get old together and wear it like a badge of honor. Enough of this talk of getting older. It’s 5:00 pm. For crying out loud, I need to get dinner ready.


kgt100 said...

I think the basket fetish needs to move from #1 to another one of the things you picked up from me! :) Do you also sing, "You are my sunshine" to Parker?

Katie said...

kristy, since you are so open and honest about the wonderful woes of growing old, i guess, it wouldn't hurt me any to admit a few of legs. people always compeliment me on my nice shapely legs. they wouldn't if they saw my legs now, specifically my meaty thighs. michael took several shots of me in my bathing suit while basking in the bahama sunshine. i could handle the plumpness of my waist more than the ugh of my legs. capris may become my summerware and only my calves and feetsies will see the light of day. i've got a few gray hairs atop my brunette curls. and there are days, i swear, my hearing is going...and instead of quick healing, infections with each scrape and owie.

Kristy said...

You have beautiful ankles! Wear those capris proudly!

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