Tuesday, April 27, 2010

If Attitudes Were Contagious, Mine Could Kill You


Ok, people. Watch out. I am feeling surly. I apologize ahead of time. There is a lot on my mind, and I cannot pull a positive, witty anecdote out of my ass. Instead, I’d like to try something called, “I’d rather put a cigarette out in my eye than. . .” Get the idea? Ok, here goes.

I’D RATHER PUT A CIGARETTE OUT IN MY EYE THAN:

-Listen to whining – from my child, any child, all adults, and basically any living thing in the vicinity

-Beat a dead horse. And then listen to people beat a dead horse. And then wonder why people beat dead horses. And then read a memo about people beating dead horses.

-Listen to words that do not match that person’s actions.

-Participate in any activity that sucks the life force energy out of me and takes away from my livelihood and time away from my family.

-Observe grown adults obtaining great pleasure in spreading hurtful gossip.

-Eat a low fat string cheese for 1 fucking point rather than scarfing an entire box of Cheddar Jack Cheezits.

Ok, I am done. Some of that may not make sense, but I had to get it out, and boy do I already feel better.

I am sitting here on my couch in my comfy home. My boy and my cat are sitting near. The little maniac’s eyes are glazed over, eating a snack, and watching some awful Buzz Lightyear cartoon. We are content in our quiet side-by-side. All is well. I am going to go and cuddle him if he’ll allow it and enjoy what matters most in life.

Have a good evening.

22 comments:

Cheryl said...

You crack me up. Even when you're not trying to. I just looked at the post below and spit out my water when you said you refer to your hubs as "The Fucker." Hysterical! Maybe not to him, but you can always say you mean it literally, I mean, you have a child, right? ;)

Anyway, hope your day got better!

Lucy said...

I think I just fell a little in love with you.

My Mercurial Nature said...

Sounds like you need a peaceful night! Good luck (and btw the post was very funny).

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Sometimes, you just need to let off some steam!

Marilyn at Live First, Write Later said...

I had a similar running list in my mind lately!

Zeemaid said...

yiii... good thing you've got this blog to let off steam in. I have to admit it I like it though... I'm gonna have to try it on my husband. BTW we are stuck in buzz lightyear hell here too.

Lacie @ Creative Attempts said...

my favorite bloggers are the ones that can lay it out there just like you did and have it be witty but truthfull. lol i loved it....today I would have rather put a cigerette out in my eye than be around loud people ha ha

JennyMac said...

Oh you made me laugh this am. LOVE it.

And whining = wretched. We have a 3 year old so we are working that out of his system right now. LOL.

WarsawMommy said...

Yep, let it all out... vent!! Then eat something high-fat (to hell with the calories) and get on with it.

BTW: you are endearingly funny even whilst pissed off. A rare quality.

karen said...

Hey Kristy.... boy does that comment bring back memories

The Empress said...

Hello from SITS. I like you. This is what is so great about SITS, finding blogs that I would've missed.

I'll see you again!

Kristy said...

Thanks, everyone! Am feeling much better this morning. Karen, I knew you would see this and laugh. Your legacy lives on.

Kerry Neville Bakken said...

What a great post! That surly attitude is sometimes the only thing that keeps us from going nuts! Cheers from SITS.

http://mommamaybemad.blogspot.com/2010/04/to-sleep-perchance-to-dream.html

MommyLovesStilettos said...

AMEN! I love this :)

hotpants™ said...

Thanks for taking the time to stop by and say hello on my special SITS day.

Wanderlust said...

LOL! So. How's the diet going? :-)

Rachel Cotterill said...

I totally agree with you - particularly about hypocrisy and meanness.

Visiting to welcome you to SITS :)

Stella said...

You're my hero.

I could have written this...especially about the cheese and the whining!

karen said...

Kristy... I feel honored to have you quote me for the whole world to read :) yes, those were the days, miss them--actually not all of it, just you and amy and the drama. Cinco De Mayo is coming soon (another fond memory) remember to divide the meat into thirds!!!! Karen

Anonymous said...

Thanks for venting!! I feel much better too!
Jennifer K. (Squirrel!)

kathryn said...

Hey, it's good therapy if you can vent here and save the kindness and snuggles for your little guy. He really doesn't need to find you curled up in his bed with remnants from his pudding cups smeared in your hair.

Not that this ever happened to me...

beckie & the grub said...

Omg, Points. Points are making me wish I were dead today.