Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Keep Hoping and Start Again

“The scariest moment is always just before you start. After that, things can only get better.” –Stephen King (On Writing)

This is the memoir prompt from Write on Edge for Tuesday’s RemembeRED.

I’ve been mulling on a post for three days. It seems as though I dropped off the face of the earth since last Thursday. Life has been crazy, I’m just trying to keep up, and I cannot for the life of me think of a fabulous post. A few possibilities have crossed my mind as stories for the above prompt, but nothing has struck like lightning as THE EXACT RIGHT THING. Honestly, the one thing I can think of that truly captures the above saying for me is (TMI ALERT – IF YOU ARE NOT A FAN OF TMI, DO NOT READ ON!): the first poo after child labor. Now, if that wasn’t a scary moment before the start, and then things only got better, I don’t know what is.

I just don’t have my mojo today I guess.

All I can think of are examples of times when I excitedly and optimistically began something, and then after a while, I reflected, “Uh oh, this isn’t really going so great.”

Cases in point:

Cooking Thanksgiving dinner – That always seems to start out “fun.” It doesn’t always end that way.

Doing a presentation at work – I always think it’s going to go great, and then the self-criticism comes in afterward.

Writing my book – The exact thing that the above quote is probably referring to. I started out on my novel excited, optimistic, and probably a little over confident. Now, the poor thing sits on a shelf with notes scribbled all over it because I want to edit and revise the ENTIRE thing. It’s a project that looms ahead of me. Every time I feel as though I’m getting somewhere with it, I feel like I have to change the whole thing. And, I am shy about it too. Only my husband has been allowed to read what I have, and my best friend has read a small part. That is all.

So, in actuality, the quote above has caused me to reflect on the angst I have on my own darn book.

I can let myself hope that the scariest part is starting again.

It is the only way. To keep hoping and starting again.


Wild Child Mama said...

Isn't that the truth about Thanksgiving dinner? Wish I could go back to the days when my aunts prepared and cleaned up everything!
About that book, take the risk, lady! Send it out to people. Get the feedback. Take that fear in your hands and squeeze it into a delicious stuffing for your next Thanksgiving dinner. Jump.

Cam - Bibs and Baubles said...

I'm with you on the book. My husband hasn't even read it! Sad, I know. :)

Anonymous said...

Such a refreshing, honest post.

Did you ever consider turning you idea of editing upside down, or inside out, so that "changing the whole thing" becomes an act of refinement, crystallizing your original idea? A thought: Maybe by voicing your fear, the fear moves to the background, allowing you to move forward.

Crystal Escobar said...

Good for you. I love that quote, very inspiring.

Eva Gallant said...

I haven't been able to work on my book since Mr. Eva was diagnosed with the big C. I don't know why--I just haven't touched it.

KDC Events said...

I can relate to that quote on the diet front! =) Good luck on your book =)

blueviolet said...

You could pick it up and put it down 6 times in a row and then bam on the 7th time, it will just flow and flow and flow. When it's there, it will happen.

Buckeroomama said...

LOL, your TMI part? That was scary for me, too. :)

Shell said...

Yes, keep going! :)

angela said...

See, I love that you started with poop and ended with the poignant message that the only thing we can do is keep starting, in hopes that the finishing will one day all come together. I don't agree that starting is the hardest; it's the coming together I can't seem to get right.

Anonymous said...

I was thinking about that quote earlier. I had to unload/load the dishwasher, and I really hate to do it. Once I was halfway through, I remembered that it's not that bad of a chore, and it's just the anticipation that sucks.

Totally lame analogy, I know. But I get what you're saying.

Galit Breen said...

Go. For. It.

The book, not the poop.

But you probably already knew that! :)

Jessica said...

Once it starts flowing it's easy.

That goes for both the writing and the poop.

TMI. You're welcome.

Kiddothings said...

That is an inspiring quote. I hope you get your writing mojo back and get started on your book again!

Thanks Kristy, for leaving me a comment on my guest post at JDaniel4's mom. Much appreciate!

Natalie said...

We're always second guessing ourselves aren't we? You've got it girl...you just need to recharge your batteries!

Minivan Mama said...

JUMP! I need to, too!

Tat @ Mum in search said...

I hope you get your book started and finished!

And yes, that first poo is a scary thing.

Tina Lane said...

Writing a book is hella hard work, so you can cut yourself some slack here. Whenever I get stuck I focus on what makes me joyful.

My Inner Chick said...

---I get it.
I have a few writing project to finish...and what do I do?
Work on my blog...Or read other people's blogs. What the Hell. X

Julie said...

Oh my gosh I think we wrote the same book.

The one with notes all over it. Sitting by itself. Waiting to be revised.

I'd rather take that first poop after childbirth again than fail at revisions.


Someone's gotta do it. Right?

And it will get easier.
It has to.

Tell me it will get easier.
(Lies are okay. I promise.)

Kara said...

I understand EXACTLY how you feel about writing. Here's a quote that I find helps keep me motivated - "The art of writing is the art of applying the seat of the pants to the seat of the chair." Mary Heaton Vorse.

Deb said...

Starting again truly is the scariest part! It's why I've reached 10/13 and failed to edit a single word, despite firmly telling myself October was when I'd begin editing anew.

When I imagine the task at hand, I imagine Pennywise. When I actually take its hand and start walking with it, I realize it's a small child dressed in a clown costume for Hollywood.

And yet . . . and yet.

The Pepperrific Life said...

Good luck on your book :)
Yup, just keep starting...although sometimes, I find that hard to do... extremely hard...

TV's Take said...

Mr. King would be proud of your motiviation or contemplation.
I have one book out for query and another drafted. I feel stuck too and unsure whether this writing thing is worth it. Hard to tell...