Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Open Heart



The above quote is a prompt from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop this week.


I have too many close family and friends who read this blog for me to feel comfortable divulging freely on my thoughts about the above quote.

It definitely makes me think of someone.

Someone I wish would take actions to show that they care about what I'm doing and how I am.

Similar to the quote above, I also tell myself, "I will put in to this relationship only as much as I get out of it."

It is a simple way I have chosen to manage a complicated, on-again and off-again relationship in my life.

So, when I try to reach out, but the card comes back "recipient not at this address," I have already lowered my expectations and the hurt doesn't hurt so much anymore. It's just a dull bruise that is noticed from time to time. I have come to a place of acceptance, or resignation, that this is the way things are. Not everyone shows love in the same way, and I know that love is there. What I am uncertain of is the level of thoughtfulness or caring that is there, which reminds me of another quote I think of from time to time:

Love more. Care Less.

Love with all your heart, but care less about what others should be doing. Live your own life, free from worrying about what you cannot control.

Every once in a while, I still put myself out there to this person, but now I know not to have high expectations for what is given in return.

Instead of focusing on what is given in return, my heart is ready and open for all the joy that I have around me all the time: my son, my husband, my mom, my brother, my niece, my close friends (Thank you, God, for friends!). My heart remains open.

31 comments:

Patty said...

Thank You SO much for this post. It basically sums up what I feel about my brother.
Who came to visit me at the hospital this Spring while I had a stroke, but the whole time he was there spoke only to my husband and talked only about himself. He never once asked about me or talked TO me. When he left he barely waved goodbye to me. Since then, I haven't heard nil from him. So sad. Since we were so close growing up. I still love. But care less.

Eva Gallant said...

Great advice.

Kara B. said...

Love you doll! I will be following your advice to love more and care less. I know the struggles you've had throughout your life with this relationship and I also know that what I know is just a scratch on the surface. You are a strong and intelligent woman. Stay always smiling while you say, "F YOU" under your breath. :) Great post.

The Pepperrific Life said...

That's so inspirational! I have to admit, I love too much, and often expect the same in return. But that's just not how the cookie crumbles, so it seems...

Mrs Woog said...

Wonderful. Good on you darling xx

blueviolet said...

I think you're handling that situation with style and grace. I'm not so sure I'd be as accommodating. I suspect I would have written them off, so good for you!

Natalie said...

This is an awesome way to look at life! I am going to take your advice!

Jessica said...

It is difficult when you try to reach out to someone and they don't want to respond but I think you are handling the situation well. Keep your family close.

Actually Mummy... said...

You are so right! It doesn't stop you going back there occasionally though, as you say. And even though I subscribe to the theory, I know the other person doesn't even think she's doing anything wrong, and thinks it is me that is letting her down!

Buckeroomama said...

Great post! "Love more. Care Less." I like that. Definitely a mantra to go by.

Not easy, though. When we love, we are so invested sometimes.

Shell said...

Good for you for keeping your heart open.

I have very mixed emotions about this quote.

MamaMash said...

You're a better person than me. I tend to write off people who aren't invested.

jazzygal said...

I like the way you've worked this out. I have a friend who seems quite similar. I don't bother anymore. But every so often I will initiate....and fall out of my seat if he responds or is the first to initiate! I stay cool though...real chilled;-)

xx Jazzy

JDaniel4's Mom said...

This is such a wonderful post. You are so right about keeping your heart open and finding joy in giving.

Minivan Mama said...

Love More. Care Less. Words to live by! Great post!

Suniverse said...

That, I think, is the most painful kind of break up. There's not a good way to explain the pain that comes when you feel like all you do is put yourself out and put yourself out and get nothing in return.

You are an excellent person!

Morgan said...

Relationships can be so tough! good for you to keep your heart open, but guarded.

Jen said...

I tried to write about this prompt as well and just couldn't bring myself to do it. I definitely need to take a little of your advice and learn to put in only what I get out.

My Inner Chick said...

---An "Open Heart."
Beautiful. Xx

Kristi said...

"Love more. Care Less.
Love with all your heart, but care less about what others should be doing"

What a great philosophy. Think I will adopt it! I really enjoyed this post. Found you at Mama Kat's...glad I did!!

Glen said...

A tough prompt to be honest with, i should think. Keep giving - that's all that matters.

Tat @ Mum in search said...

'Not everyone shows love in the same way'. So true and something I've had to learn the hard way.

Arnebya said...

Love more, care less is probably the best advice I've heard in weeks. Seriously. Rather than letting those who let us down change the way we love, we should remain true to ourselves accept that we can't make those people make sense. Thank you for this. Because even though sometimes it's hard to comprehend who people who were once close can be so drastically different in how they show love, it still shouldn't change the way we love.

colbymarshall said...

Awesome post! I think I'm going to start this weekend loving more, caring less. Love it, gal!

Marie from Rock The Kasbah said...

And sometimes loving more, caring less means we need to love people from afar and be happy with the memories we have of the good times we've shared.

Natalie @ MamaTrack said...

I saw this prompt. I too thought of someone in particular, someone who, for new reason I can understand, runs hot and cold. It is hurtful. And I'm sorry for us both.

You are doing all you can.

The Girl Behind said...

I love this post. Relationships with friends and family can be so tricky at times. I wish I could handle mine with the dignity that you have.

Anastasia said...

You are a good person to have this perspective. I usually give up, but I like the idea of trying even when you know you may not get the same in return.

Jenna said...

i love your perspective, and understand the dull bruise word picture you painted.

Annette said...

Yes, I used to feel bad when my friendliness or my house invites weren't reciprocated. Now I realize that's life's too short, and I should save the special moments for my family and "true" friends.

TV's Take said...

Great post! If we were all a little more like this...