How We Survived Reflux/Colic

As I realize that some may land here to find “answers” to dealing with colic, I thought I’d give the top things that helped the most in our situation.

(Besides Zoloft for me)

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Our son was diagnosed with infant reflux at three weeks old. He had eczema. Chronic constipation started at one month. He was identified as having milk allergy at one month. Other food allergies started showing themselves with the introduction of solid foods around four months. Once the reflux was managed with medication, he still demonstrated classic “colic” for months (crying for no apparent reason for a prolonged period at a specific time of day).

Holy shit, right? Right.

So, here’s my list:

1. I stopped doing what all the different books said I should do and did what felt right for our family for the moment. This is what I call “mothering from your own heart.” For example, I threw away the book that had told me to never let my baby sleep with me, to be careful not to overfeed the recommended ounces per bottle, and to breastfeed at all costs. I’m not saying my way is the right way. You may throw away the book that is the opposite of all that because it works for you. Do what preserves sanity for you and your family. The reason this helps you survive reflux/colic is because it gives you permission to do what helps you survive for now, rather than judging yourself for not doing things “by the book.”

This book is shit.

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2. We were blessed with an awesome pediatrician and pediatric gastro-intestinal specialist who were with us every step of the way, willing to try different approaches.

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3. PREVACID. Prevacid was a God-send. Parker was prescribed the solu-tab. He would get a half dose in the morning and a half dose 12 hours later. We had some hoops to jump through to get this covered by insurance, but it was worth it. Parker took this for about one year. We tried to take him off at six and nine months, but in both instances, the reflux came right back and he aspirated (choked on the reflux and stopped breathing for a moment). The Prevacid relieved the arching, the pain, and decreased the screaming.

Thank you, God, for Prevacid.

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4. Elecare – A “superhypoallergenic” formula. I had a prescription for this and eventually got the right person on the phone at my insurance company and got it covered by insurance. Thank goodness because otherwise, it cost $50 per can. PER CAN. Roughly $600 a month. With insurance, it cost me about $100 a month. With Elecare, my baby could finally feed without it bringing him pain. Previously, I had the defeating experience of breastfeeding my baby, only to have him scream in pain afterward and choke on reflux. I was even on an extremely strict diet (white rice, broth, apples, water, and plain white meat chicken). I was losing weight rapidly. I breastfed for three weeks and pumped for an additional week after that. By the time we gave up on it, I was relieved and my son could finally feed and be…content.

WHY is some greedy asshole making MILLIONS from selling this to desperate mothers for $50 a can???

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5. Miralax for constipation. We tried every remedy out there. Every remedy. That only brought us to eventually having to do an infant enema. Not fun for anyone, especially the baby. Miralax kept my son pooping for three years, and let me tell you, that was relief for all!

Oh yeah, the BIG bottle.

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6. Thickening the bottle, especially for the night-time bottle. This helped to keep things down. Sometimes it’s a necessary thing for reflux kiddos, even though nutritionists warn against thickening bottles (your baby won’t learn his own “fullness signals” or gain too much). My boy has never been a chubby baby, and I think that refluxing up all of your food is hard enough on a digestive system without worrying about a “fullness signal.”

For crying out loud, KEEP IT DOWN!

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7. Keeping his bed at a 45 degree angle – My husband installed a piece of wood under my son’s crib mattress that kept my boy at an angle for years. When he outgrew the reflux, we kept it like that since it helped with all the, seemingly, constant colds two year olds get. My son slept with us for the first six months of life. We created this angled spot for him with blankets to have this angle going on.

Get the damn purple sex pillow out and make it useful! (I am not saying I have one of these, but I have heard of it.)

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8. AAT – Advanced Allergy Therapeutics - This is an emerging, alternative approach to treating allergies. There are not many people who can do it, so you’d have to Google it to find someone near you or in your region. Let me start by saying that after the first treatment, my son’s eczema was mostly gone. He’s now had three different treatments and is finally able to eat most things. We still avoid things that we haven’t treated that he is allergic to. We took him to a chiropractor 40 miles away who has had training in it. I was referred by the pharmacist at the Medicine Shoppe where I used to fill his Elecare formula.

Alternative treatments need to be talked about more!!

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Anyone have other experiences to help with their child's reflux/allergy/gastro-intestinal issues? Do share! Share for the moms out there looking for a place to start!

Are You Cut Out to be a Mom?

Oh my goodness. Last night, I had flashbacks.

Not flashbacks in the sense of, “Whoa, I’ve done way too much acid, man.”

More like, flashbacks of when my child was an infant, and we were in the throes of dealing with reflux and colic and CONTINUOUS, angry crying.

I felt shell-shocked. Anxious. Overwhelmed. Heartbroken. At a loss. Scared. Not sure. Full of doubt. Inadequate.

I picked up my son from daycare today. He apparently has a stomach virus, causing awful diarrhea. There must be some kind of stomach cramping involved too because my son acts as though the devil has taken over his intestines.

(As a fun aside, at least my son describes things in an entertaining and truly perfect way. Puke is called “poop sneeze.” Diarrhea is called “poop puddle.”)

There was a time last night when my son was completely inconsolable. Throwing things, hitting, kicking, screaming. He was covered in his own diarrhea, and I couldn’t even get close enough, without being attacked, to do anything about it. This went on for so long (about an hour, a little longer) that I wondered if we needed to GO SOMEWHERE.

I’m thinking, “Is his appendix bursting as we stand here?!”

Eventually, we got him in the bath, with his clothes on, scared, trembling, and screaming. Once he was clean and changed, finally, all was calm. He watched a movie and ate a banana.

I stood in the kitchen, and I felt…like shit.

My nerves were on edge. I had to make dinner. I didn’t want to eat. I felt like I used to. When he was an infant.

And, there was the old fear. The fear that, I believe, every mother has sometimes.

I don’t think I am cut out for this.

And, I remembered how I used to feel that way. Low on sleep and holding an infant I couldn’t soothe. I didn’t think I was cut out for it.

I learned to tell myself, “You were meant to be Parker’s mother. You ARE cut out for it. You were cut out perfectly, for him.”

In the moments of chaos and crying and pain and doubt, you do not think you are cut out for it.

But, you are. You are cut from the same cloth, and only you can be his mother.

Sick and Tired

When I picked Parker up from daycare yesterday, his daily sheet said, “Cheerful.”

Fellow mothers know where I am going with this, yes?

From there, Parker fell asleep on the car ride home. He looked so cute all slumped over and snoring. He still slept on my shoulder as we went in the house, so I took my rare opportunity to just HOLD my boy for a while. We sat on the couch together and I just held my precious lovey. It was a moment of stillness and calm. Togetherness and present-ness. Moments like that you feel you could hold your child forever.

And then he woke up.

What happened next was about a 4 hour tantrum – the kind that comes and goes – but pretty much sticks around the whole night. This is the way he acts when he is coming down with something. (It’s been about a week since we were at the doctor last, guess it’s time to go again!)

I thought children were tired when they were sick. You know, aren’t they supposed to lay around with a pout on their face and watch endless TV? That sounds quite relaxing.

But, noooo. My child must zombie around the house moaning, crying, whining, and shrieking, “NO!” whenever anything is said to him. Then, if he is so inclined, he may walk up to you and hit you just so you know how gnarly he feels. This then puts him in time out, which increases the tantrum. Then, when the tantrum starts to calm, he does things like walk into the corner of the kitchen island, and the screaming starts all over.

He had started to calm down a bit at one point and I had set out some apple slices for him to snack on. He started eating a slice, and I have no idea what set off the crying again, but it started, then he began choking a little, then I’m running to him to pound his back, and he throws up all over the place when the apple dislodges. And, he does not prefer changing his clothes or diaper much, so there continues to be NO. RELIEF. FROM. THE. CRYING.

You want to feel sorry for the poor kid, but MY GAWD, I’d rather put a cigarette out in my eye WHILE giving birth, than hear more crying (or the word NO!). Even right now, I am thinking, my poor bub. He is getting sick. I must love him and hold him and do whatever he needs to feel better, and I will stay so, so patient no matter what. That line of thinking usually lasts about five minutes, then it’s survival mode. With wine. Wish us luck tonight!

Genius Mommy

I stayed home from work today because Parker is sick. Our morning went really well. In spite of a fever and ear infection, Parker was in pretty good spirits. I even got extra cuddle and relax time with him when he wanted to watch movies. He went down for his nap just like normal, but he woke up from his nap abnormally early. For some reason, he woke up a different child. He woke up angry and highly upset. He was crying and screaming. Nothing helped. He didn’t want to lay with me in my bed, he didn’t want his music on in his crib, he didn’t want to watch TV, he didn’t want me to hold him and walk him around, he didn’t want to be held at all, he didn’t even care about his Lightning McQueen car. I had given him his medicine and Tylenol. There was nothing more I could do for him. All he wanted to do was literally stand in a corner and cry. He climbed behind our speaker/side table, hid and sat in the corner, and cried. It was awful. And you know what I thought? Well, let’s go to Wal-Mart. You may think I’m insane, and I often have this thought myself, but I felt like we really needed to get out of the house. I had a feeling that he might actually enjoy going to Wal-Mart. I figured, he’s going to be upset no matter what, so we might as well get something done while we’re at it. And what better place for a crying child than Wal-Mart? (You people without children hate people like me.) Anyways, I thought that if it got too bad, we could just leave and go home. On the drive there, I began to doubt myself. The crying and whining did not subside. He was not a happy boy. I started to worry and wonder if I was doing the right thing. Guess what?! It went great! Just like I thought. Instead of being big-mistake-mommy, I was genius-mommy. Parker loves people and looking at things in the store. It went so well, we even went to Petsmart too. And because it was Monday afternoon, I got front row parking at BOTH places! Man, sometimes I don’t know much about this mommy thing, but every once in a while, I impress myself. That feels good.