Sick and Tired

When I picked Parker up from daycare yesterday, his daily sheet said, “Cheerful.”

Fellow mothers know where I am going with this, yes?

From there, Parker fell asleep on the car ride home. He looked so cute all slumped over and snoring. He still slept on my shoulder as we went in the house, so I took my rare opportunity to just HOLD my boy for a while. We sat on the couch together and I just held my precious lovey. It was a moment of stillness and calm. Togetherness and present-ness. Moments like that you feel you could hold your child forever.

And then he woke up.

What happened next was about a 4 hour tantrum – the kind that comes and goes – but pretty much sticks around the whole night. This is the way he acts when he is coming down with something. (It’s been about a week since we were at the doctor last, guess it’s time to go again!)

I thought children were tired when they were sick. You know, aren’t they supposed to lay around with a pout on their face and watch endless TV? That sounds quite relaxing.

But, noooo. My child must zombie around the house moaning, crying, whining, and shrieking, “NO!” whenever anything is said to him. Then, if he is so inclined, he may walk up to you and hit you just so you know how gnarly he feels. This then puts him in time out, which increases the tantrum. Then, when the tantrum starts to calm, he does things like walk into the corner of the kitchen island, and the screaming starts all over.

He had started to calm down a bit at one point and I had set out some apple slices for him to snack on. He started eating a slice, and I have no idea what set off the crying again, but it started, then he began choking a little, then I’m running to him to pound his back, and he throws up all over the place when the apple dislodges. And, he does not prefer changing his clothes or diaper much, so there continues to be NO. RELIEF. FROM. THE. CRYING.

You want to feel sorry for the poor kid, but MY GAWD, I’d rather put a cigarette out in my eye WHILE giving birth, than hear more crying (or the word NO!). Even right now, I am thinking, my poor bub. He is getting sick. I must love him and hold him and do whatever he needs to feel better, and I will stay so, so patient no matter what. That line of thinking usually lasts about five minutes, then it’s survival mode. With wine. Wish us luck tonight!

Let Them Live Their Lives!

I remember a quote from Steve Carell in The Office. It goes roughly something like this, “I don’t know why people say it’s so hard to raise kids. Give them some pizza. Give them some candy. Let them live their lives. They’re adults, for Christ’s sake.”

I applied a bit of that wisdom today, and you know what?! It worked! It was fabulous.

My husband and I believe that Parker is getting his two year molars. That means that unexpectedly and at random, our child turns into a writhing, head turning, totally UN-FUN creature.

All was well today until I heard Parker’s shrill scream cut through the monitor only about 30 minutes after he went down for his nap. I could tell by the way he sounded that he was in pain, the poor guy, and he wouldn’t be going back to sleep. I had already given him children’s motrin, and he had been refusing our other teething tricks, so there wasn’t much more I could do for him besides be with him.

Well, he could have given a rat’s ass that I was there to “be with him.” Upon entering the room, he threw his bunny at me from the crib, he started trying to rip down his turtle aquarium, and he banged his head on the mattress. He was one angry dude.

Eventually, he did calm down. I held him and took him downstairs, but he was still just fussy, whiny, and generally discontent. I’m thinking, “Ok, kid. I would love to just chill and play with you, but if you’re not going to even do that, I’ve got things I can do.” I looked over at his Easter basket and saw the never-before-eaten candy bracelet!

I strapped that bracelet on him, showed him how to lick it, and – you’ve got it – he was in heaven.

So, what did I do from there? I let him live his LIFE, for crying out loud!

Parker sat on the couch in a glorious daze, licking and sucking and chewing, and watching Ni-Hao Kai-Lan (Ugh!) for about a half an hour! I was able to leave the room several times WITHOUT any zombie hands and whiny voice following after me. I switched the laundry, organized the kitchen closet, and stripped the bed sheets for washing.

The last time I checked on him, he gave me an empty string and a smile. I threw the string away, put his shoes on, and we headed outside for a wagon ride. He has been my beautiful, lovely bub ever since. Thank you, oh-so-wise, Steve Carell. You are a parenting expert extraordinaire!

Whining Kills Slowly

I have been known to be called a patient person. I have a Bachelor’s degree in elementary and special education. I have Masters and Specialists degrees in educational and school psychology. I have been a classroom teacher, special education teacher, and school psychologist. I deal with children everyday. I am a Positive Behavior Supports Coach. I have read all about Love and Logic parenting and teaching. HOWEVER, when I am home after work, getting dinner ready, and my own child is whining (ooohh, the whining), all I can do sometimes is GROAN LOUDLY and growl, “Stop! UGH!” You would think there would be a reservoir of strategies. But sometimes, none of that matters when you are a tired working mother, especially when dealing with whining. I am surprised whining does not cut glass. Or at least make it vibrate a little. It gives me an eye twitch. I used to think that the t-shirts that said something like, “Mommy drinks because you cry,” were terrible, but now I kind of get it. While my eyes roll back in my head for a moment and I take a big, deep breath, I will TRY to be a good mommy and say (in a sing-songy voice), “I will listen when you talk nice,” and then calmly go along with what I am doing until I hear “nice talk.” Barf. All I really have to say is whining sucks. And it’s killing me slowly.

Genius Mommy

I stayed home from work today because Parker is sick. Our morning went really well. In spite of a fever and ear infection, Parker was in pretty good spirits. I even got extra cuddle and relax time with him when he wanted to watch movies. He went down for his nap just like normal, but he woke up from his nap abnormally early. For some reason, he woke up a different child. He woke up angry and highly upset. He was crying and screaming. Nothing helped. He didn’t want to lay with me in my bed, he didn’t want his music on in his crib, he didn’t want to watch TV, he didn’t want me to hold him and walk him around, he didn’t want to be held at all, he didn’t even care about his Lightning McQueen car. I had given him his medicine and Tylenol. There was nothing more I could do for him. All he wanted to do was literally stand in a corner and cry. He climbed behind our speaker/side table, hid and sat in the corner, and cried. It was awful. And you know what I thought? Well, let’s go to Wal-Mart. You may think I’m insane, and I often have this thought myself, but I felt like we really needed to get out of the house. I had a feeling that he might actually enjoy going to Wal-Mart. I figured, he’s going to be upset no matter what, so we might as well get something done while we’re at it. And what better place for a crying child than Wal-Mart? (You people without children hate people like me.) Anyways, I thought that if it got too bad, we could just leave and go home. On the drive there, I began to doubt myself. The crying and whining did not subside. He was not a happy boy. I started to worry and wonder if I was doing the right thing. Guess what?! It went great! Just like I thought. Instead of being big-mistake-mommy, I was genius-mommy. Parker loves people and looking at things in the store. It went so well, we even went to Petsmart too. And because it was Monday afternoon, I got front row parking at BOTH places! Man, sometimes I don’t know much about this mommy thing, but every once in a while, I impress myself. That feels good.