The Holidays are Getting Hot

I'm getting ready for some fun, fun, fun, and linking up with Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop so that I may answer this delicious prompt:

If you HAD to marry a celebrity...who would make your top five list and why? (Let's just pretend you're not actually already married m'kay?)

Now, I don't really need to marry these guys. To clarify, I'd like to just...try them out and be done with them.

1.





Brad Pitt - I'm a sucker for Brad Pitt. I know many girls have gotten over their lust for him a long time ago, but I still love to stare at that jawline. Plus, he is able to be funny (loved his character in Burn After Reading!). His rugged good looks, the twinkle in his eyes, and his constant youthful quality drive me nuts. I have been shaped into the woman I am today after seeing that HOT scene of him as the young cowboy in Thelma and Louise twenty years ago. Blush! I do go on and on. Next!

2.




Bradley Cooper - I am a fan of the Hangover movies, and one of the reasons why is because I get to watch Bradley Cooper all hot and...dirty the whole time. He is oozing with charm in my book! And, besides, I'm a sucker for a guy who seems to have a bit of that bad boy edge.

3.





Johnny Depp - He's intriguing to me more than anything. I like artsy, soulful types as well.

4.




Benecio Del Toro - He's got that dark eye, smoldering look. And, I love his voice/accent. Mmm, mmm!

5.




Matthew McConaughey - I'm thinking he's a lot of...fun.

Now I suppose Santa doesn't deliver men to my stocking?

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How bout you? Who are your fantasy crushes?

Meet Me on Monday

Thank goodness for easy Monday memes! I love linking up with Java from Never Growing Old for Meet Me on Monday:



Questions:

1. Tomorrow I'm going to _________?

Workout. Ha! I always workout "tomorrow."

2. Pudding or Jello?

Neither really. I guess pudding, but hey, if there's alcohol involved, I'll go for the Jello.

3. What book are you currently reading?

The Faculty Club

4. What is the first concert you went to see?

Amy Grant. I kind of grew up quite the goody-goody, but I have long gotten past that phase.

5. What is your current weather?

Cold. Blah. Hoping for snow that my niece and son can play in when she comes for Christmas!

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Fires for Dummies

I'm linking up with Write on Edge for their Red Writing Hood prompt this week:

Write a piece of fiction around the holiday season that begins with "The doorbell rang" and ends with "snow began to fall." Stick to 300 words.




The doorbell rang, but I was already at the door. I had heard him pull up in the rumble of his truck. I had taken another quick look in the bathroom mirror and sprinted to the door, then cursed myself for being apparently out of breath.

Deep breaths, I thought, slowly blowing the air out my lips.

When the bell rang, it was like a gunshot to my heart from anticipation.

I opened the door with a practiced smile. Standing there, with a box and clipboard, was the UPS man.

“Evening, ma’am,” he said, thrusting the clipboard toward me, “Sign this.”

“Oh, yes, thank you,” I said. I looked past him at the street and there was the big brown van, rumbling in the street.

I gave his clipboard back and took the box. My eyes searched down the street for another truck. Seeing nothing, I shut the door.

I opened the box with kitchen shears. A white sweater, matching scarf, and a card was inside. I quickly ripped the envelope open, and from the card, a piece of paper fell.

It was a printout of an Internet page: “How to Build a Fire for Dummies.”

The day before, we exchanged texts, excited about being together again. I had texted, Too cold here. Can’t build a fire without you hunny. Don’t no how. Need my man. I had meant to be clever, to give him a double meaning.

I read the note inside the card.

I have to stay another day. I’m so sorry. Keep warm and I’ll see you soon! XOXO

I put it all in the box. I put the box in the fireplace and lit a match. Outside, snow began to fall.

Just Having Fun

I am linking up with Wordless Wednesday at Kristi's Live and Love Out Loud!


Here are a couple of things I'm loving right now:






How's your holiday planning going?

Syndicated Sunday

On this relaxing December Sunday, I am choosing to re-post something from earlier this year because I just loved re-reading it myself, and you will too.

Love ya, Mom!

One of the prompts for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop in April was, “If my mom was a blogger…”



There have been times that I have heard my mom say, “I think your readers should know….!!” (what have you). So, I felt this a fine time to give my mom a voice on my blog, and I interviewed her.

Me: What do you feel my readers would be surprised to know about me?

My mom: When you leave me my grandson to take care of, you leave eight pages of instructions! I have had grandchildren before. You’re brother can attest to this. I don’t think your readers realize you are so ‘OCD’ like that.

Me: You ASK for instructions, Mom. Anyways. What have you been shocked to read on my blog?

My mom: When you called your husband ‘The Fucker!’

Me: Really?! (I figured it was when I called my son an asshole.)

My mom: Well, I know what a sweet, easy going guy your husband is, and I wasn’t thinking of him from a wife’s point of view. I was thinking about him from a mother’s point of view, and I wanted to protect him.

Me: What is it that you would want to know my readers to know about me?

My mom: You have a very unique gift of looking at life and giving a different way to look at things. If I ask you about something, you will be honest about it and give me feedback. I know you will level with me. And that has helped us have an even more special relationship.

Me: What has been something memorable from my blog?

My mom: Seeing all the dimensions of your life. There are so many different areas – your personal life, family life, work life, your going-out life/fun life. I LOVE when you write about the kids you work with. I’ve gotten to know you in an even more personal way by reading your blog.

Me: If you had a blog, what would it be about?

My mom: Raising a maniac! (my brother) No, it would be about you and Scott (my brother), and how you were the two kids that seemed to be raised by two totally different people growing up – you were so opposite.

Me: But now that we’re older?

My mom: Now it is fun! I love our crazy trips together and the holidays. But what I think really is there is the love we have for each other, how much we care for each other, and how much support you both have given me in hard times.

Me: What makes you laugh about me?

My mom: The stuff that comes out of your mouth! How do you think of it? You are so funny with Parker, and they way you look at life and the things he does. You have a great sense of humor. You also have this other side to you – you can be cynical and edgy. When you’ve had wine, your chin goes up, your eyelids go down, and you can let people have it. You have a sharp tongue. I love to watch you play Wii! You just get up there, and without even trying, you just get up and do it. You approach it with a hell-be-damned-attitude and you do great. I love to drive with you! It’s like I’m driving with myself and I don’t have to say a thing. You take care of yelling at all those stupid ass drivers out there.

Me: Do you know that I made my own cuss word for drivers on the road?

My mom: What?

Me: Fuckball. As in, "You're a fuckball!"

My mom: (laughing)

Me: So, on that note, how are we alike?

My mom: Well, we’re both Taurus women. We’re a little impatient. We have huge hearts and care about people. And, we both like wine. But, I like white.

Me: How are we different?

My mom: You’re more of a risk taker. And, you’re more determined. You’re more of a goal setter.

Me: What are your parting words of wisdom?

My mom: The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat. (Lilly Tomlin) Also, don’t let the bastards get you down. Also, my mom always told me to take the high road.

Five Things

I’m writing for the Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop this week on “5 Things!”



5 things we don’t know about you:

This is hard because I don’t hold back much and I’ve told ya’ll a whole darn lot. So, I will try to think of more.

1. The only way I can truly “re-charge” is by being alone.
2. I worry a lot about what others think of me, but I have managed this better as I get older and oh-so-wiser.
3. I wouldn’t say I “collect” angels, but I sure do have a lot of them around, and I like that.
4. I do not like Nicholas Sparks’ books, nor do I like any of the movie adaptations of his books.
5. Even though I consider myself to be intelligent, I can also be an air-headed ding-bat.

5 things you’re knowledgeable about:
1. Disney Pixar Cars
2. Liking kids
3. Reality TV
4. Relaxing
5. Lean storage manufacturing and aluminum gutter systems (a result of writing freelance articles)


5 things you know nothing about:

1. Car repair
2. Football. I know nothing about it. It is like a foreign language.
3. Correct table settings – I never remember
4. Grilling and mowing the lawn – I have never done either
5. The Stock Market

5 things you believe:

1. People take themselves way too seriously very often.
2. There is so much more to this world around us than we could ever imagine.
3. Love and God is all around us in many places and in many forms (and CERTAINLY not only found in a church).
4. All the people in your life exist to teach you things about yourself.
5. Creativity is more important than industriousness.

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Phantom Poo Poo and other Misadventures

I'm here! I know I haven't posted in a week - what a week it has been!

We have had many adventures in our Thanksgiving travels, including:

"Mommy, it is time to look at the weird blue man."



This is from a look and find book. This page is "Genie in a Bottle" obviously. Parker was entranced. And weirded out. And he couldn't stop looking at it. This killed some time during our long drives.

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My son actually channeled Robert DeNiro on our trip out! The famous, pained expression of ol' DeNiro is exactly what my son looked like in the back seat as he threw a royal fit about...I don't even remember what it was about, but he looked pretty funny. Like this guy:

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We also had a fabulous time watching our child play, play, play with other people's kids. Parker even bravely tried to sleep in one of these said child's room one night, but the other boy had to come get me. He said, "Parker says there's a ghost light in the room." Alas, no break from sleeping with Parker during vacation for me, and into bed with me he went.

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Speaking of ghosts, we were lucky enough to be plagued by a Phantom Poo Poo on our long drive home. About every 30 minutes, Parker said his stomach hurt and that he had to poo poo. Wanting to avoid an accident, we fell for this ploy about 3 different times and stopped so he could go to the bathroom. No poo poo. Every time. But, hey, we got to have lots of fun running around another convenience store.

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While sitting at The Kid Table one night for dinner, I could hear the kids sharing their ages.

"I'm eight!"

"I'm six!" etc.

"How old are you, Parker?"

"I'm 21."

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My boy is keen on doing ear splitting screeches at random. They don't last long, and I never know when it's going to happen, so I can't really prevent it, and it's one of those things I just ignore and let go of. It's one of those things that mothers learn to tune out a bit. Until the child is around other people. Then it seems very apparent. It is a sort of high pitched WoooooOOOOOp! Like an angry peacock. Or a howler monkey.

I looked over at one of the 25 people at our Thanksgiving get together and said, "He just likes to make sure everyone's awake," and I offered an apologetic smile.

He said deadpan, "Well, we are."

It reminded me of an Elizabethtown clip - the one where the hyper little boy is always screaming and periodically wakes the old man. This guy:

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Which then inspires Orlando Bloom's character to play this TOTALLY AWESOME video for the hyper, loud boy.

Rusty's Learning to Listen
(You must watch this.)

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Some other pics from our trip:

Parker's first time on the ice! (Being held up by his daddy and aunts)

Watching the zamboni