Monday, February 8, 2010

Do you have a moment to spare?

I will never forget when I was pregnant, and I asked my friend (who had just had her baby) how it was going. I was sitting in my big chair at work, I was about 8 months pregnant, and her e-mail reply chilled me to the bones. She wrote that everything was going pretty well, but that “me time” pretty much had gone out the window. I shuddered. I seriously thought, “Oh, well, that won’t be me. ‘Me time’ is waayyyy too important to me to let THAT happen.” Fellow mothers, try not to laugh too hard at my ignorance at the time. As you can imagine, having a baby was a pretty big wake-up call. I was the baby in my family and hadn’t had much exposure to infants. Add that to my insatiable need to relax, and I had some adjustments to make to say the least.

At first, when Parker was an infant, I would sometimes feel pissed off. Yes, that’s right – pissed off – when I hardly had a moment to take care of my basic needs. When I did get one, small indulgent moment, I could hardly relax enough to enjoy it! When that glorious, rare moment ended, sometimes I felt. . . well, pissed off.

I have, thankfully, had a shift in thinking. Of course, things are made better (in some ways) with Parker’s age and growing independence. But I have truly begun enjoying my stolen and unplanned moments, no matter how long they last. I savor my moments. I think I’m just kind of getting used to this mothering thing. A little of the shock has worn off. And my friend, Mr. Zoloft, helps a lot too. You know, the less often you enjoy something pleasurable, the more happiness it brings you when you experience it again (e.g., your favorite song). It’s true. It’s science. It’s been researched (Pursuit of Happiness, Dr. Seligman). It’s also just kind of common sense. I have learned to stash un-read Us Weekly magazines around the house for stolen moments. It no longer bothers me that I can’t read one at once, and that I have no idea when I will get to it. But, in a given week, I do get to it, and I can still be a woman in-the-know (in the Hollywood world, at least). But, please, do not ask me about what happened on the last Bachelor. I am a week behind on my Tivo list with no idea when I can watch it. And that’s ok. I will watch it, sometime, and savor the indulgent, juicy, brainless moment.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for being honest. I love knowing that someone else feels how I do.