Lovefest! For Mama!

Parker melted my heart last night. We were all upstairs getting ready for bed. Parker had abandoned tooth brushing and left his toothbrush God knows where. He was instead sifting through his toy box in his bedroom. He found an old picture of me that was in one of those plastic “Who Loves Baby” books. He took the picture out, exclaimed, “Mama!” and proceeded to wander around upstairs loudly kissing and smooching the picture.

It was a love fest. I was like, “My baby! I love you! Oh, you are so sweet!” He would smile, show me the picture, shout “Mama!” and continue to kiss the picture.

There is nothing like the love between a boy and his mama.

I looked at my husband and said, “You’re sleeping in the crib tonight. Parker gets to sleep with me.”

I just wanted to hold him and squeeze him all night, my precious baby boy.

Of course I did not. We finished getting ready for bed, read some books, and Parker went to sleep in his crib like always. I know I have to be careful not to spoil my boy too much and turn him into a man looking for a woman to take care of him like his mother did. I know I have to be careful not to become the hovering mother in his life. I know I will not encourage any strange Oedipus-type relationship.

It just feels good to know that your child loves you so much (even after you have put your foot down about NO big, talking Buzz Lightyear in the crib). It just feels good to feel yourself fall in love all over again with your precious little boy (sometimes known as maniac boy when not kissing mommy’s picture).

Here is the picture Parker was carrying around.

Look how carefree (drunk) and youthful (ahhh, the 20’s) I look with my big, red plastic cup. Yes, that was before pregnancy. That was about 8 or 9 years ago at a New Year’s Eve party. Even though the girl in that picture had a smokin’ hot bod, I do not wish to go back and be that girl. I didn’t even appreciate my body at that time anyway.

I like the woman I’m becoming now much more. I would never give back the lessons I’ve learned along the way, although I am still working on loving myself just as much as Parker loves his mama. I’ll be “working on my fitness” again, but I will no longer be expecting perfection. The journey I’m on will turn me into an even more beautiful woman than the one in the picture.

Promise me you’ll do the same. Love yourself. Be the friend and sister and mother you are to others, to yourself. Speak kindly to yourself. The amount of love you give to others can only occur in abundance when you have loved yourself.