Here’s what I’m thinking. I need goals. I need self-improvement. I want a better body. I want it all – shiny hair, white teeth, “gorgeous gams,” increased energy, muscles you can SEE, do I need to go on?
But I’ve been down this road before (and here I am again), and it just doesn’t sound like fun to “crack down” and count my points and berate myself into doing SOMETHING, anything about it (losing weight, getting active, being healthy overall).
However. I have strong desires to be desirable. To FEEL svelte and proud of myself and confident and pretty, and dare I say…SEXY.
We all want that, yes?
Here’s what I’m going to do about it.
• Be kind to myself. Regard myself kindly, speak kindly to myself, treat myself like I am a dear friend. Being kind to myself means giving my body what it needs. Eat if I am hungry. But, STOP when I am not (sounds so simple but will be the hardest thing to learn in my life probably).
• Feed my SOUL. When I am not hungry anymore, and I still want to eat, I will feed my soul. I will comfort myself because I deserve it. I will drink tea, play with my child, talk to a friend, talk to my husband, maybe participate in some pampering and grooming.
• Be truthful. I am LYING to myself when I indulge too many times. I think I am “rewarding” myself, but there is no reward. Only bloating, gas, farts, and burps (not too aligned with my desire for sexiness, right?).
If I can do the above 80% of the time, I bet things will be feeling pretty good pretty soon. That’s another part of being kind to yourself. Allowing for imperfections.
Yeah, perfectionism can bite my ass.
So, this is what health is to me. None of the above has anything to do with counting, weighing, calculating, shame, embarrassment, or fear. Only kindness makes sense.
(Some of my ideas in this post are influenced by a new book Women, Food, and God. The author was featured on Oprah. I just want to give credit where credit is due. I still do not own this book, but I have read about it, and am already excited about it, and plan to buy it this weekend because it is not offered on the Kindle list dammit.)
19 comments:
I seriously think we are twins seperated at birth! You just put into words what I haven't been able to do. I feel the same way about myself. I WANT all of the above things, but seriously lack the motivation to count points, exercise until I die, and just be healthy in general.
I know that I should want to do all of these things if not for me for Monkey and Mouse, but it is SO hard. I especially identify with the whole "rewarding myself" thing. I do this WAY too much. Especially when I hit a small goal of 5lbs. I reward myself and it all comes back!
I think that we need to try to be buddies in this somehow. Let me know what you think lady.
Honey, I am SO with you!
About a month ago, I decided this: 'If I change my head space, all the rest (better body, glowier skin, shinier hair, more clients, a happier home life) will follow.'
And damned if I wan't right! Yeah, I know! I just decided to be kind to myself, and take care of my thoughts and my spirit, and stop trying to be so damn perfect.
And I swear I look better. I look better because I feel better. And since I look better, I feel good about that. And the cycle of positive stuff goes around again.
It can be done... the first 2 days were tough, but now it's more of a habit, and is a bit easier.
Good luck, babe!!
"Only kindness makes sense." Love that one!
Omg...I just read that book. It's such an awesome book. Ganeen Roth is so insightful. Thanks for sharing
This is EXACTLY what I needed to read. Thank you xo
SO true. Love your work, xx
I like your thoughts on this. I think that I need to read that book.
I'm not sure this will help much - but i think your soul wants cake! :-)
hey hey hey,
thanks so much for stopping by this week! i love meeting new friends online... WE have ALOT to chat about you and I LOL... i have been kicking myself all of my adult life and now that i'm in my late 40's i am FINALLY getting it and am now on a wellness makeover to change who i am as far a nutrition is concerned. you are preaching to the choir miss! love it! you go girl, and try and excercise a little.. do you have zumba anywhere near you? it is a blast, and as far as feeling sexy... well latin cardio and belly dancing when done right (ok by my instructor not me lol, but i try) is very sexy! have a great weekend and stop by soon!
hugs,
shelley :)
I was thinking that we could do something along the lines of once a week or so check in with each other to make sure we are keeping on track with the whole being kind to ourselves thing. If not, we can serve as each other's reminder. Let me know what you think.
Now that sounds like health! Don't worry if you don't do it all at once-baby steps. One day you'll look back and realized you've done it ALL. :)
I hear you, lady. One of the things I've heard to do (and have not done in full, but have tried a little) is to talk to or write a letter to those parts of your body that you constantly put down. Apologize to them and then say loving words to them every day. It can be a fairly emotional thing!
Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!
I like the idea of feeding my soul. I just hope it drowns out the calls from Krispy Kreme. :) Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest.
This post makes so much sense! For me I think feeding my soul is the most important thing!
Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting. Returning your SITS visit.
Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest
Cheers :-)
- CoconutPalmDesigns
Oooh, that'd be such a great post! Definitely think about doing that!
Hi! Came over from SITS.
Am so happily surprised to find such great, heady content in this post.
What a nice surprise.
I agree with you, head comes first. I'm learning that in my old age.
Lovely to meet you. I'm your newest follower.
It's such a simple idea, it makes me wonder why it's so hard to do! We spend so much time and energy looking after the people in our lives that we neglect to look after ourselves. Maybe we need a 'Be Kind To Yourself' day :-)
I tried intuitive eating (which is what you describe) but it was tough. Because I seem to be hungry all the time. But I also never looked at treats as cheating or beat myself up over them.
I used points (when I did WW) as a way to keep track of how much I was taking in and I made sure I was nourishing my body with whole, healthy foods. But if I wanted a piece of cheesecake, I had a piece of cheesecake.
Now, I barely even crave the junk, so when I do want it, it doesn't bother me to eat it.
It's definitely important to nourish one's soul, however. I decided to not replace the canceled shows I watched with anything new and to stop using the TV as a bordeom/laziness tool. I turn it off now and read or write or listen to music or clean my house.
And I made exercise a habit a couple years ago. I feel good when I do it, so it's not a chore for me. And if I take a week off (like last week) I don't get upset about it. I just pick it back up the next week.
It's all about health and balance. Good luck!
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