Munchhausen Much?

I wonder what the receptionists thought as I walked out the pediatrician’s office today.

Perhaps, “We’ll see her again in a week!”

Or, “She’s not going to have another child, is she?”

Or, “Hmmm. Munchhausen?”

Or most likely, “Hey, pull her file from the family doctor and see if that woman gets to take any anxiety medication!”

Well, whatever. Think what they must, but I simply cannot resist taking Parker in for an ear infection check about once a month.

And…he almost never has an ear infection.

But, you’ve got to believe me! He had diarrhea (VERY unusual for my constipated little bub), he was tired and falling asleep EARLY (again, VERY unusual for my little maniac), and pulling on a red ear and saying, “Urt!” People without children, keep up, “urt” means “hurt,” and details of bowel movements are mandatory in toddler world.

So, I had to take him in. Just to make sure. This is what I say every time. For crying out loud, can’t they just donate one of their ear-looky things to me to keep at home and give me the quick low down on spotting an ear infection??? (With technical language like that, how could you ever doubt my medical skilz?)

The doctor is so nice. She always agrees with me, “Yes, yes, just to make sure, especially before the weekend.”

Then we leave. After Parker shouts “Tank you!” to everyone with a smile on his happy and healthy face. He terrorizes the waiting room play area a bit, shows a waiting patient his McQueen car, and shouts, “Bye!” And off we go. With no explanation for the diarrhea, tiredness, and pulling of the ear. Except, maybe it’s teething, maybe it’s a gassy tummy, maybe a growth spurt, maybe he’s just friggin’ tired and felt like pulling his ear a bit. Who the heck knows.

Maybe they should just pencil in a monthly appointment for me. Set up a VIP section. Offer champagne and dispense Xanax. Our doctor playdate.