As my own mother flies out today to be with her mother, my grandma, I remember a phrase that I heard over and over and over last week at work:
“I WANT MY MOMMY!”
You see, last week was the first day of school for our little ones at the elementary where I work. There is always at least one child screaming this ancient phrase straight from the gut.
Also being a mommy myself, I know that a little separation anxiety incites pretty strong emotion for everyone in the vicinity. My heart went out to the mom trying to pry her 6 year old son off of her body as she made her way out the door. This boy’s father just deployed for another tour in Iraq. He had moved with his mom to a brand new (military) town and was attending a brand new school.
“He never did this in kindergarten! I don’t know why he is doing this now!” The mother kept saying apologetically.
“Well, there’s been a lot of change lately,” I murmured, looking down at this boy – he was in panic mode, and I was assessing the situation.
I looked at the mom and told her, “When you are ready to go, we will be ready, and I’m sure he’ll calm down soon after you leave.”
The counselor and I braced for the fit that was sure to come as the mom left.
Needless to say, this little 6 year old had the energy for one, big, giant fit. And we were with him the whole way. We waited as long as it took, offering reassurances here and there as he cried over and over, “I want my mommy!”
I would quietly rub his back and say, “I know. I know it’s hard. You will see your mommy after school.”
About an hour later, he was ready to go to class and he’s been fine ever since. The counselor called the mom at home to let her know that he was fine and in class.
(All those mommies out there, you KNOW that mom breathed a big sigh of relief and thought, “Thank God!” Because a happy child with his butt in school makes for a happy mommy, right?)
Well, this is not the hardest case of separation anxiety I have dealt with before, and I’m sure it will not be the last. Sometimes I have a bit of separation anxiety myself. Sometimes I want MY mommy.
There’s just nothing quite being with your mom to help you feel like everything is going to be alright.
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I'm glad you didn't have more of a time with the little guy.
When I am very, very sick I sometimes even call out "Mommy" myself. Shhhh...don't tell anyone. ;)
Sometimes on work days, Lil's reaction to being left at day care sets the tone for my whole day. Most days she's fine, she gets right into a story or some toys without a problem. Other days she breaks down and I have to leave her crying in the arms of a carer. I absolutely hate those days. Other days I see her big blue eyes following me down the hall as I leave. Even on 'OK' days it breaks my heart. Is it any wonder I don't like work?
I don't really remember doing that when I was little-sure a little here and there, but no tantrums. It WAS hard to move on without a mom though, especially in a new environment. Good for you for handling it so well. :)
You said it, there is nothing like the help of a mom. :)
I'm always in your heart...always...and bubba, too! Love, Mom
Love it! Hope when mine is in school we have someone like you!
Absolutely right... I so agree with you
Such a difficult time for mum, child and staff. For me, when a little one is in I want Mummy mode, all I can do is say I know, I know... because like, you sometimes I just want my Mum.
So very, very true. The bond between mommy and child is SACRED. I'll remind the boys any time they'll listen that they shared a body with me once. It totally grosses them out but they know it's true.
That poor little boy...I'll bet the beginning and end of every school year is probably the hardest time at your job, right?
In my high school we had a class that basically ended up as us students being teachers for pre-school kids. I had one girl who pitched a FIT because her mom brought her in without her Dorothy ruby slippers. I remember sitting with her the whole time trying to calm her down.
I can just imagine that this time of year must be so trying for you. Keep up the good work!
My kids never seemed to have any anxiety about being separated from me...hmmmmmm. When I dropped them off on their first day of school, they smiled, waved and said "Bye Mom!" Probably because both of them had been in daycare since they were six weeks old. I was the one who had anxiety, not them.
I always feel so sad when I see kids clinging and crying - especially when they're in kindergarten. Fortunately my kid was so happy to be away from me he did handsprings into the classroom! ;)
Oh, you are a miracle worker! I'm convinced. In two weeks, my little two year old will be going to daycare for the first time ever. I'm so afraid of the seperation anxiety--if not his, then mine. I hope I don't show it too much. You're right though...a happy boy with his butt in school does make for a happy mom :)
It's great you were there for the little one but sounds like you were very kind to his mother, who probably needed it just as much as he did. Sorry to hear about your Gma!
I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm a Mommy's Girl myself!
Oh my. That post gave me anxiety. When I was a teacher, I felt so badly for the little ones when they wanted their mommies. At least the fits are usually short. I am already dreading the day that my little guy has experience that separation anxiety..
Awww what a caring teacher you are!!! And you are absolutely right. Nothing and no one can make you feel the way your mom makes you feel (except maybe becoming a mom yourself).
That poor little man. I think he was very lucky to have another "mommy" on hand who understood his angst.
Awww. Poor little fellow. Actually, poor you! HA! I would never be able to deal with other people's children. Folks who can do it (like you) deserve mad props!!
Hi, I just stumbled upon your blog! Love it! I'm now your newest follower. I look forward to getting to know you.
Have a great week,
Candace
When I left home, my mum always promised that she'll be there at the end of the phone, any time of day or night. I might be "all grown up" now, but I've taken her up on that a couple of times. There's no replacement.
I have seen this, and I wonder so much about it. Do you think it's personality type? Or learned behavior?
My 3 are very attached to me, but I've never had separation anxiety with them.
That makes me think it's a personality type.
Yup, I STILL want my mommy.
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